Friday, April 03, 2009

love it that you can always come home!

This space is always here for me when I want to come and visit. Like when your parents save your room just the way you left it as a kid!!
I don't have that room since my parents are now in Texas instead of Maine, but I have my blog spot!

So life has been busy, life has been great, life has been busy! 

I have said more then once lately, how the heck did I do it before when I owned the Scrapbook Store, how did I do that and all that needed to be done here.  The answer is I didn't do it!  I now realize just how empty I was. I now realize I am so happy I have grown and am now the person I want to be. I am so happy that part of my life is very much over.  I hate that person I became, thinking I was living my dream, but in reality I wasn't. I was being selfish, thinking I needed to own a business to be a success. Thinking I needed to be important. When in reality, I love being a Mom, I love volunteering, and I love my little retreat business. 

I let myself get wrapped up in the drama of woman, and even created more drama in my life then I would ever want to have ever again.  The best part, is once you leave the drama behind, and you leave  the emotional vampires behind, you can start to realize just how much it consumed your life. Don't get me wrong, I met some WONDERFUL woman in my time as a store owner, and I cherish those that are still my friends thru all the darkness. I give you alot of credit that you loved me even through the dark part. I was pure ugly! Thank you so much.  I regret those that didn't think enough of me to love me anyway. I regret that there is no repair of the friendships that I thought were true. I would love to reconnect with a few people, but I know their hate for me is probably beyond repair. I have come to accept that I may never see them again, but I also always hold out hope that they will contact me and want to meet up at Starbucks.  Cause a good cup of coffee and a friend, it doesn't get much better then that. 

Something about a rainy day , it always makes me reflect and want to purge and clean something, today it seems to be my soul. It will also be the house too....since that needs my attention too. 

Today is today, I am doing great. My online store is doing ok, the economy stinks, as we all know, but scrapbooking is still going on.  I hope to be doing more of this very soon.  Right now we are so involved in wrestling! Josh has had a wonderful year with six 1st place trophies. He is now in the post season and he is very focused! He has been doing practice 4 nights a week and he wants to get better. I can see his maturity level increasing. He is wanting to learn things and perfect them. He isn't just going thru the motions. It is amazing to watch him. This weekend is Regionals for MAWA, and he has to finish in the top 4 to go on to Eastern Nationals.  He has 3 State Champions in his bracket , so it is going to be a tough road. But I know he is very determined and my stomach will churn for him as he trys.  I hope his hard work pays off. 

So it is Friday, and the weekend is almost here! We have a busy one with wrestling on Saturday and then on Sunday we are going to see Katy Perry in concert and we are very excited. Hope to blog more, when I have something to say , or at least something that is needing to be journaled