Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Today I had to speak to him several times and he still would not do what I asked . I was getting somewhat fustrated , and really glad he was going to school !
Then he gets in the car after school ....and he says " Guess what Mom ... I got a sticker today for Listening " !! And I swear I could hear ..." nah nah nah " under his breathe!!
It is truly amazing , this whole adventure that we are going on .
On Another note , it is nice to be done with wrestling now . Josh took 4th place this sunday in the last tourney . I just am so amazed how great the coaches were with all these kids this year. win or lose they treated each of them with such compassion and champions! I am looking forward to the few weeks till baseball starts. Looking forward to having some family nights , cooking dinner and also having some scrapping time .
Saturday, February 25, 2006
As I lay here watching the Olympics and seeing Ono the speed skater go over and hug his mom in the stands , I today felt that same feeling they must be feeling . I don't care what age or what level of sports your child is in . At that moment when they get to win and be called the best even if it is for just one minute ....you just love seeing your child so very proud of himself. Feeling all the hard work has paid off. The best line of the day was when Josh looked at me and said " Mom , I am the Champion today !"
I let him know , he is always my Champion !
The Trophy is on my night stand right now , I think he wanted to bring it to bed with him tonight .
on Another note.....We went to see Eight Below tonight ...WOW .... I came home and hugged my puppies a little bit more tonight . That was an amazing story , I have a new found love for our furry friends.....they truly are the ULTIMATE portrayal of unconditional love.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
How beautiful is this ! But as I was editing these pictures , I was amazed to how many layers a rose has. Then I got thinking about humans....yep here we go . The ole line from Shrek.....I am like an onion...lots of layers.
I am not sure where all this is going , and those who have read my blog ....well welcome to my head....sometimes it can be painful !
I find each day that I learn more and more about people. How many layers there are in one person sometimes amazes me. We come in contact with so many people each and everyday so we only get to see the outer layer. Then as we get to know people ...develop relationships we get to see more layers.
Some people never open up , they keep their layers very close together and you never get to see the true beauty .
Some open up very fast , you get to perhaps get to know more about them then you ever really wanted to know . But they wilt away so fast.
Others open at a steady pace , you get to know each layer and you get to watch them grow and blossom , you enjoy each moment with them and they are the ones you remember .
There is nothing like a beautiful rose , but even more beautiful is a friendship and love that grows over time . I am so truely blessed by great friendships that are developing in my life. I have so many great womyn in my life and they are all so different , I just love watching each one bloom in its own time .
Thank you for being my friends..... because you as my friends make the rest of it all seem so small !
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
lachrymose... a new word I learned today thanks to Cathy Z .
had never heard it before but boy does it sum it up .
I had such a great day with Josh yesterday , we had a Josh and Mom day ...something I hadn't done in over 6 months. Since becoming part owner in memory lane, pa . So yesterday we went to lunch and we went to the movies. It was so great to just be hanging out with my little guy. I just look at him and can start tearing up . Seeing him grow is so wonderful and so painful. Sometimes feeling like sometimes I am just not doing enough , and sometimes getting so fustrated because no matter how much I do for him , he wants more. He is so impatient , loving , impatient. OH the poor guy is so much like me. His passions will take over ...
he will forever be striving to do more.
He will never stop dreaming.
I look in his eyes and see my reflection....that is so wonderful and so scarey.
He came up to me today and just gave me a kiss , then ran away saying Love you mom!
I have never known how much you can love another ...it just keeps growing everyday..... I am going to go and purchase Rockin the Suburbs by Ben Folds. Reading these blogs have cost me 4 pairs of Crocs and 1 cd this week !!
Monday, February 20, 2006
Yesterday was a very interesting day . Josh had a tourney for wrestling. It was a day I was hoping would turn out wonderful with Josh winning at least one match . The first of the season we went to a tourney and he lost both of his matches and it was such a hard thing to see him go through. But it was also a great lesson for him that he needed to practice to become better . Well now it was the end of the season and he has improved , but so has a lot of the other kids he will be wrestling. So all I am hoping for is for him to feel that he accomplished something and to win one match . He DID!!! He won his first match and I felt my eyes well up as I am shooting pictures of the ref holding up my son's arm in victory. Now that is all I asked for ....Then we go on to the second match , Josh is not focused he is just not wrestling with the same determination as the first match . I could tell ...Just like when he is kissing me telling me he loves me one minute and running around being so obnoxious the next . A different kid. Well then all of a sudden he becomes that wrestler he can be and come back from 0-6 to tie it 6-6 and goes into overtime. Which was quite a battle but his opponent gets the take down and wins.... I was just as proud of him , but he was so upset to lose. Well he still gets one more match . So we go into the 3rd match ...it was a little fustrating because I had to go find a coach ...they are there to help the kids , but his regular coach has his son wrestling at the same time and can't help Josh. Well we get another coach ... this coach doesn't know Josh and his strengths and weaknesses . We go into the match and Josh breaks out to a 3-0 lead. I am so excited ...he may just win this one. THEN all my hopes are dashed for Josh as this coach decides to put Josh down on the mat and let the other wrestler be on top. THIS IS THE WORST thing you can do !!!! YOU NEVER put the wrestler down if you don't have to . I am yelling NEUTRAL ! NEUTRAL ( if you are not into wrestling this whole thing is not going to make sense) but you will understand I was so fustrated. Well in about 10 seconds the kid flips Josh over and pins him ! DONE FINISHED OVER! I was so upset for Josh , he came over in tears ....That coach comes to me and says .. " if I had it to do over again , I would put them neutral " At this point I had all I could do not to Yell back at this man . BUT I didn't ! I was very upset because he basically dashed all Josh's hopes of winning by making that mistake. Josh's regular coach came out to find Josh and was so sorry that it happened . He knew that was such a bad mistake and he was so sorry he hadn't been there for Josh. I assured him I didn't blame him . I was just so fustrated .
So Life Lesson learned. .... I am not always going to be able to make sure that Josh gets everything he needs to be a success . I am not going to be able to stop all people in his life from making bad decisions that will effect Josh. Each year I am going to lose more and more control of who is in his life making those decisions for him. As this is the last year before he starts going to school full time. These are all things I am NOT READY for !!!
I am scared ! I am crying about these things ! I hold on to him so tight when I hug him sometimes , I don't want to let go ! Do all Moms go thru this ??? Am I just too over protective??
Then , I know I will have to learn to deal with these things , because I am not going to stop him from being in sports, or school or whatever else he wants to do . Heck he starts baseball in a couple weeks , he looks so forward to these times , he loves sports, school and playing with his friends.
Wow , this parent thing has alot of roads to go on . I want to do it so well ! I want Josh to remember his childhood and love it ! I want him to do everything he wants to do and get everything out of it he can. BE A KID as long as he can !
So I guess as I get to the end of my thoughts this morning .... I have yet learned another life lesson. I am not in control of everything that is going to happen to my child , the most precious gift I have ever received. BUT , I am always going to be there for him to make it as GREAT for him as I can no matter what !!!
Just in case you are wondering ...Josh had a great time , takes the losses just as well as the wins. He is on to today , and looking forward to Me taking him to see Curious George with 2 of his buddies. That makes me happy ....today is a new day !
Thursday, February 16, 2006
My Son .....He wants to Scrapbook !!! Yes he is just 6 , and I was almost in tears when I found these pics that he had taken in Las Vegas. They had taken my CoolPix 3.1 with them while I was at CHA . I just took the card out of that camera and downloaded the pics. I have to say I was just smiling when I saw these pics come across the screen. Josh has explained that he wanted to scrapbook about the tiger and the shark he won out of the Crank Game. I must have been beaming from ear to ear as I hugged him . It was truely one of the cutest things he has said in a long time. Being 6 now he is such a "Boy" Trying to be cool and a little sassy ....I don't get the "cute" side as often as when they are 18 months. So these moments I hold near and dear ! I can't wait to see what he does with these pics...( know I will be scrapping them also !) Hey he doesn't take a bad pic either ...I just got to teach him to fill the frame :)
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Here it is , my first published pages. I am so excited about being published. This layout is one of my favorite layouts ! It holds great memories of one of our Rehoboth Beach Vacations. Josh and I alone on the beach in the sunrise. One of my favorite times of the day at the beach , it is so peaceful and beautiful. I awoke and got ready to go down to the beach as I do everymorning of vacation. When I looked over , Josh was laying there with his eyes open . I whispered to him " would you like to go to the beach with me ? " He nodded. We got up and headed for the ocean. Armed with my camera I got some of my most incredible shots. This was my first layout using a picture bigger then a 4 x 6 photo. I had seen so many pages using bigger pictures and wanted to try it. I love it and do it much more now! So if you would like to see this in publication...it will be in The Kodak Book on Scrapbooking Your Favorite Photos. This should be avaliable in May around Mother's Day . I really need to start working on Josh's pages once again. I have let other things consume me lately . I really do miss my creative outlet. So hopefully I will have some new favorites soon !
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
It was so awesome...Amy and Em just put on such a great concert! Deena you ROCK !!! Thank you so much my friend....I will cherish this !
Sunday, February 12, 2006
- Taking this photo of the snow with my new Zoom lens !
- Peppermint Mocha's at home !
- A Clean Studio ....space to scrap in finally !
- Josh doing a scrapbook page about the hoover dam for school.
- Sparkle Mod Podge !!!
- Knowing I am going to the Indigo Girls concert tommorrow night !
-Prima Flowers sprinkled on my work space
-reading Cathy Z.'s Blog today
This is a picture of Josh's Dog Cricket . How frigin cute is he with the snow face.
Peppermint Syrup , mocha powder and coffee ! Now that is living !!
This is a little present I got from my Secret Sister this week . If you have never done a Secret Sister swap ....you are missing out !! This is such a great idea , for a determined amount of time you get little presents from your SS and you also spoil someone else . Then at the end you get to meet who has spoiled you and you also reveal yourself to your SS. I have met so many wonderful ladies doing this and always enjoy spoiling more then getting spoiled. EXCEPT this time ... I have to admit this is one great present !! Being a Co-owner of a scrapbook store , I know my SS's always kringe when they get my name . They sit there and wonder what the heck to get me that I don't already have or would just get for myself. Well this would be it ...thinking outside the box, getting me things that I would not go and buy. Also I love things created for me. I am often creating ...but giving it away ! So BIG BIG thanks to my SS ....I am loving my presents...sipping away ! Coffee is SOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo Great!
Friday, February 10, 2006
Cancer, the fourth Sign of the Zodiac, is all about home. Those born under this Sign are 'roots' kinds of people and take great pleasure in the comforts of home and family. Cancers are maternal, domestic and love to nurture others. More than likely, their family will be large, too -- the more, the merrier! Cancers will certainly be merry if their home life is serene and harmonious. Traditions are upheld with great zest in a Cancer's household, since these folks prize family history and love communal activities.
I was googling this morning as I layed awake. I often like to read things about my sign. So many sites out there !! I liked this one , altho everyone of them talks about the sign of cancer as a "home" person. I guess that is why we have that tough outer shell , we always have a home that way .
Last night Josh wasn't feeling well , then about 2 am in the morning he woke crying and coughing . Then he rubbed his eye and got something in it and that was burning . It was not pretty ...he was not consolable. He started shivering and I was very worried , I couldn't get it to stop. Finally after a cough drop , a wet washcloth and holding him very tight , he fell back asleep in my arms. But guess what ....I couldn't!! I have never been one to get back to sleep easy , so since 2 am I have been awake. He woke again about 6 am . Tylenol and water and he is back to sleep. As I layed awake holding him...all I could think was how much I love him , and would want to be no where else but holding him at that very moment. He is home .
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Hail to the coaches ! Josh is wrestling for the first time this year , and I have to say the coaches have been so wonderful with all the little guys. Wrestling is the first non team sport that Josh has done. Every other thing he has done he has teamates and they are always around. In wrestling it is just you and your opp and your coach trying to help you as you wrestle. This pic is after his last match on Sunday . His attention is so focused on what the coach is teaching him . He starts a series of 3 tourneys now for the next 3 sundays! This will end the season for him . I am not sure if Josh will wrestle again , because he is wanting to try basketball now. These two seasons are at the same time. I am so glad that he wanted to wrestle tho , he has learned so much about pushing himself and learning that as long as he does his best , you might still lose...but you are not a loser ! Josh ended his season at 3 - 7 . I am so very proud of him and hoping he does well in the tourneys !
He is not feeling well tonight , I am going to go cuddle with him .
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
I was thinking today , I have been really happy lately. Almost down right giddy !
I have been loving life , and it is not that everything is perfect...even tho I have had a bit of perfection lately. It is just that I have chosen to be happy . I was thinking today there are certain things that really have made me happy lately. Alot of it stems from the CHA show in Las Vegas. crate paper I am so excited we get to be one of the first stores to carry this wonderful line ! Lisa the owner ,designer emailed me the other day to say thank you !
Ali Edwards....I am so glad I got to meet her , and I hope to get to know her even more in this lifetime . Her energy is just amazing !
Donna Downey .....She is coming to memory lane , pa !!! WAhhhooooooooo!
Sarah , with whom I am so glad to be a partner in business with , but more to me that we are growing as friends !! And we are one rockin team !!
our customers ....I truely mean this ....they are simply the most amazing customers any store could have ! They support us in anyway they can , and they actually just love coming to the store , each time one walks in I get to know them a little bit more! We have so many amazing womyn walking thru our doors everyday , I feel so blessed !!
There are many other people and things that are making me happy right now , but those are the tops of today. Of course you all know that Josh is on a list all by himself !!!
So what is making you happy? Are you happy? Do you find yourself with a silly little grin in the middle of the day ? I hope so ....cause it is a wonderful feeling !
I just wanted to post a BIG thanks to all of you that told me you have been reading my blog ! Alot of you told me it has brought tears and smiles to you when you have read it. I am just overwhelmed how wonderful people are. I just love that I am in a profession that allows me to meet such wonderful people on a daily basis! This blogging has been a wonderful experience for me in such a short time . ( Thanks again Sarah !!) I am very excited to use some of my blogs in my scrapbooking . OK it is off to memory lane, pa to play amongest the pretty papers ! Have a great day and keep on smilin! Is he not the CUTEST !!
Monday, February 06, 2006
Some days are just perfect ! Today there were little glimpes of perfection. Look at these pics! I had a vision for Josh's 6 year old photo shoot. He had recieved this wonderful pair of jeans from "GAP" and the jean jacket to match . I could just see it was him ! He has that jean look , all I could see is a mini james dean!!
My little daredevil , he has that gleam in his eye that I love and it also scares me at the same time. He does keep me on my toes! But today I didn't even have to ask for anything . He was just himself
He just shined thru each photo. So this is what has made me happy today, I was just beaming and couldn't wait to get home to download these pics! I am in a HAPPY way today , maybe I am starting to recover from a lack of sleep . Maybe it is because I got things done today for my family and me . I feel a bit better that there isn't piles and piles of unorganization going on in my house. Now to attack my scrap room this week. I can go in there now knowing the rest of the things are undercontrol for the time being . So how would you describe the last time you had some perfection in your day ?
Sunday, February 05, 2006
And I hate to feel so unbalanced. Friday Josh turned 6 , and I felt so bad because I could not just spend the whole day with him , and this was a first for us. Each birthday up till this one ( yes I know only 5 of them) I have been able to devote the whole day to him . Birthdays are special to me and I love making a great big deal of his birthday . It is one day that means alot to me . I got to be Josh's mom on that day and I will forever cherish the day he was born !! So it is his birthday and I haven't even ordered his cake , I needed to get cupcakes for his school friends and it was about 15 minutes before needing to open memory lane, pa for the day . What is a girl to do but call one of her bestest friends and cry "HELP!!" Connie to the rescue ! She did things for me and the day was a save ! I just can't express how much I can not do without my friends . I have been a SAHM for 5 years and the past 7 months being an owner in a LSS has been an adjustment I am still trying to figure out.
Josh's bday party was yesterday , but also we had our mini CHA at the store. I couldn't wait to have both of these things. Being at the store and feeling the excitement about all the new lines , getting to be with all the great customers and friends I have now thru mlpa , and of course getting to do all this with my wonderful friend and business partner Sarah ....what more can a girl ask for ! Then running home to switch gears and be with my family and make this birthday the best for Josh , entertaining 15 of his friends and their parents. Making sure the pizza is ordered and everyone has a great time . Getting the call from Sarah about how much more excitement the store had that day . LOVING IT ALL !!! Feeling guilty LOVING it ALL!! Ok so the point ....hmmm maybe there is a balance and the scales are all just tilted my way right now !
Friday, February 03, 2006
He came up to me today in the middle of playing with some children at the store and ran behind the counter looked up at me and said " I love you Mom!" , then ran back to play in the playroom . That just makes your day !!!
Wow Josh is 6 today , where does it all go ? I can't wait to go on this adventure with him . Each day is truely a new day in his eyes , and I get to share that with him. How much fun can that be.