Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Time to dust off and get back to ......

I loved that line from yesterday. You could put that in every one's life and finish it the way you need to. For America, it is a big dusting off. It is time to leave the old ways that are not working and find the new way to do things that will work. Yesterday for the first time, I felt that it will be possible to pull this great place we call home out of the ruins. Yesterday was fresh, hopeful, inspiring and just plain beautiful!

I loved the reports that there were Millions of people and not 1 arrest!!! It was a beautiful day.

I loved seeing all the people on T.V. in Washington, people there to witness history, to be a part of history. People there for their great grandparents, people there that believed in the words of MLK, and believed in the dream all these years. What a range of emotion they must have had yesterday.

But what I love most about yesterday, is the HOPE of CHANGE....and yes right now it is still a hope, we have to hope and pray that the President can now put his plan into action and produce the Change we all hope for.

What I didn't like about yesterday, are the comments from people that don't believe in our President, the negative comments , people making fun , people not getting what the big deal is, what all the hype was. How sad that they couldn't put things aside yesterday and actually enjoy the greatness of the day. NEVER has there been so much hype about an incoming president, there is reason for this. I realize that some still need to "see" and have "proof" that there is something to cheer about. But sometimes a little hope and faith goes a long way. I will continue to pray for all of us, and I hope that everyone will have a reason to believe soon.

I want to enjoy yesterday for a very long time.

Anything is possible.

I have shut off comments for today's post. I want to celebrate this day, and I know there are many opinions on this subject, but for today....I want to just celebrate.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

It is my Blogoversary today!

3 years!

458 Post!

500 + Pictures!

Having a place to put my thoughts down....


I love this place

I don't visit it everyday...

But sometimes I write everyday ....

It is a place that is always here for me...

It doesn't judge me...

It lets me talk...

It is here for Josh , someday if he wants to know his Mom's thought on an average day.

It lets Kate know if she wants to come home somedays.

It gives me a place to celebrate, cry, laugh, and reflect.

Happy 3rd Anniversary Blog.....Love, ME!

Monday, January 12, 2009

Love a good snow day!

Don't adjust your computer screen, I really did scrapbook!
I so miss sitting down and creating. It is just something that gets put on the back burner too often. Not that I don't love the craziness of my life, but once in a while I like it to stop and allow me to create. Something just for me.
Snow days tend to do that for me. I love a good snowday, one where everyone is home and we have no where to go. Just love it! Put on a good pot of soup and relax for the day.

Sunday was another day on the wrestling mat. Not one of the stellar team Stillings days on the mat. Josh had to learn a hard lesson this weekend. One that I hope he can learn at 8 and not have to relearn at 18. One that I hope sticks with him and the pain of it teaches.
Josh has had a big year of accomplishments, you know the kind you are so happy for when they reach them. those ones they work so hard for. Josh made the Varsity wrestling team this year, he has been on JV for 2 years and really wanted to be on Varsity, it is a big deal, they are the ones that get all the glory. When you are on JV , you could go undefeated all year, but it really doesn't get the status that a varsity wrestler would get. You are kinda the warm up team. Not that JV wrestlers don't practice hard, but there is always someone better then you in the room , and they are on the varsity team. So BIG deal! He worked hard for it, and got the crown this year. Then Josh also won his first Open Tournament. He has gone to lots of tournaments, and kept coming away with 2nds, and 3rds. Never getting that top prize. Then Dec 27th, he got it. I thought at first he was going to sleep with it. He was so proud of it.
With Victory , sometime comes defeat. Sometimes you defeat yourself. Doesn't seem like there should be sadness in such success does it?
Life, it is a funny animal.
The defeat, he lost his drive to get better, he hit what some would call a plateau. I can see how you could do this, you work so hard...shouldn't you be able to relish in it? Yep you should for about a day! That is all the time you can have in a sport as demanding as wrestling. Because you know what, that kid Josh beat on Saturday for 1st place, beat him on Sunday for 1st place in another tournament. Yep, and beat him 10-0. Right then I saw it start happening. Josh was not the determined wrestler I saw just 24 hours before. He was what I would call cocky, over confident about himself. He figured he had won this match before he wrestled it. While on the other side was a kid who didn't want to lose again, and had come to win.
Hard loss for Josh, but still he went home with 2 pins that day and a 2nd place trophy. Not bad for a day. I thought that he had maybe learned his lesson that you can never stop working, you had to keep working harder, or you will always be 2nd, and we know that is the 1st loser.
But as I watched Josh in practice over the next few weeks, I saw him not working hard, not improving his mistakes, but getting mad at me when I pointed them out. He is a stubborn boy, and that comes right from ME! Yep sorry about that Josh. But I have had to learn when to give that up, just as he will. Well ok so I am still learning, but I can hope to teach him earlier can't I!?
So he won his league match last week, against a younger boy, not as experienced, but he didn't wrestle well at all. Hips on the mat, and sloppy stuff, that against a better wrestler, he would have not got away with. But you can't tell Josh anything when he wins, cause he only knows he won. He is 8 and winning is everything, so it was going to take a loss to get thru to him, and 2 losses in one day might really drive the point home. Well the point has been driven home. Josh actually had a defensive pin this weekend. He is up 8-0 in a match, handling this wrestler and he had his hips on the mat, he was sloppy, but again up 8-0 not listening and he pulled the wrestler back on himself and pinned himself. Not the first wrestler to ever do this, but it isn't a proud moment. He was all upset and he didn't even understand what happened. Again 8 years old. (I keep reminding myself of this) . This is where I just love our coaching staff. Len who is a guy that wrestled alot of matches in his lifetime, and also has been coaching Josh for 3 years, takes Josh and sits him on his knee, a little while after his match and talks with him. Explains to Josh what happened and why it happened. Len is a great coach and has seen Josh come along way. He wants to see Josh go further and work up to his potential. You have to love guys that take the time to teach these boys how to be champions everyday.
So on to the second match. Josh knows he must correct his mistakes and keep his hips up, let go of bad holds and stay in control. Coach needs him to wrestle up in the next weight class. So he is going against a heavier kid, but Josh is strong. The wrestler is also a 6th grader, but we don't let Josh know this. Josh doesn't make the mistakes he made in the first match, hips are up and when they get on the mat they are back up in no time. He lost 4-0 but was a much better match.
So we have since talked, we watched the dvd of his matches, yep the painful one too. Josh understands that what the adults try and teach him is what he needs to learn, and we aren't trying to tell him things just to talk, but to actually help him be a better wrestler. Also I let him know that if I didn't believe in him and believe that he would win more 1st place trophies , then I wouldn't even try and get him to be better. I just hope he is going to start understanding it. I just hope he can start to drive himself again , like he did last year to reach his goals. He needs new ones. We set some last night. We are a team, and team Stillings is back on track!
Not sure everyone will understand this whole post about 8 year old wrestling, but it is much more then that. It is life and as any child , Josh didn't come with a manual , and we are figuring out everything together. I would not drive him hard , if he didn't want to be a champion. But when he comes to me and tells me he wants to be a Pro football player and go to College and wrestle , then I feel it is my job as his parent to give him every tool to achieve his goals. In return he knows he has to do his very best and drive himself even more. I love Josh so very much, he is my little miracle and my everyday joy in my life. I feel each defeat and each victory with him. He does know I am his #1 fan. And at the end of the day , we cuddle and say our love yous. That is worth every tear to me.

Friday, January 09, 2009

2009...I can accept that

Well Hello Blog!
I have missed you and I have to say, 2009 snuck up on me fast!
I can not believe that in 4 days I will have been doing this blog for 3 years!
That is so cool. I love looking over the post from the past 3 years and seeing where I have been and what I have done, good and bad. I love reliving the times about Josh and our family. The things we have lost , the wonderful times we have gained. I am sure this year will prove to be another great adventure.

Josh will be 9 years old in 25 more days!!! WOW WOW WOW....I just can't grasp that yet. I still remember driving away from the hospital and looking back and seeing that we really had a baby boy we were taking home to love and cherish...and now....we have a wonderful little boy that we love and cherish and has filled our life in so many ways.

Ok now I am hummming "How do you measure a life" from Rent! Oh that one will be there all day!

I am getting ready for another S.A.V.E. , this is our 5th Year, WOW again. I am guessing that is my word for today! With 100 ladies coming to this event it will be a wonderful time again. I always get a little stressed getting everything ready , but once up there and things are moving along, it all falls together and we have a wonderful time. This time I am excited to have Mimi Leinbach and Jen Starr coming to teach and do make n takes!

I have picked a word to be my mantra in 2009, it is ENJOY! I find myself doing , doing , doing, and not always enjoying what I am doing. Not that I am miserable, just need to relax and enjoy more during the moment. Balancing the doing with enjoying. Scrapbooking more. Oh I need that so much. I know so many of us in the same place, the Scrapbooking gets put off except when we plan a weekend to go and do it. I am going to make an effort to take those moments in the day when I can sit down and create. leave a spot to do that. I am lucky I have a whole room for this, but I let it get over run with other things and then I don't have my space. That is changing right now. A new place for the bills to be done, a new place for the business paperwork. A new place for all other things that clutter my desk. Clear yourself a little space too, a little time, and start creating those pages. I challenge everyone that reads this to a page a week. Ok so every Friday starting Next Friday , I will post a layout....I challenge others to do the same , in your comment link me to your layout , I will pick a layout each week as the layout of the week, and there will of course be some type of prizes involved. You know how I like to give prizes!! OK who is in!!?? Come on ladies lets take back scrapbooking!!!