Wednesday, April 25, 2007
So many of you calling, writing and just stopping by.
Kate sent me flowers( nothing to do with my blog)
I am REALLY OK!
This blog is as much my therapy as anything else.
I have always found that if I write things out, I can let
them go. I can tend to bottle things a bit here and there,
believe me I am SO much better at not doing that now,
compared to my 20's. But every once in a while it sneaks up on me
and then I realize that it is all there tucked away and I don't
like myself to do that.
So out it comes....sometimes in the weirdest of ways or times.
I found myself snapping at a friend last week, and I didn't like that.
I said I was sorry, but I shouldn't have been like that with her.
I get short with Josh, and I HATE that, he doesn't deserve that.
So anyway...I am on the up swing as they say. I am not a real
moody person. Pretty even most of the time.
I love my life, and you can love it and still have moments
that aren't stellar. You can be just fine and still feel a bit
run over sometimes. It is all good, and as one friend would
say..."Keep your sunny side up!"
So again, thank you girlfriends for your thoughts today.
Kate, thanks for the flowers sweetie...they made me smile.
On a GREAT NOTE...today was a great day for memory lane, pa
We sold out our 3 classes at CKC in 50 minutes. That was such
an amazing feeling, and Julie Boardman...as you are with the big
Mouse in Disney...I wonder if you could hear our yells of joy from up
here in PA!!!
Damn it is good to be me!!
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Not picking up my camera.
Not really wanting to shoot anything.
Too tired to scrapbook, not really wanting to.
Just wanting to sleep.
Not feeling alot of passion about anything.
Very excited for Josh.
Very scared for him also.
Ready for Rehoboth Beach.
Loving all the great items coming in at the store.
Wanting to get lots done in the house.
Finish the bathroom.
Finish the Kitchen.
Actually redo the kitchen completely.
Want a real lawn, green grass, not just weeds.
Hating this annoying pain in my side.
Wanting Josh to get why he has to do his homework right.
Not take shortcuts.
Feeling very scattered.
Wondering who I can trust.
Feeling unsure of somethings.
I am ok.
It is good to write this all down.
Going, going, going.
Time to go.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Every week Josh practices his spelling words and they get to pick 3 ways to do it on their tic tac toe grid. There are such things as this , spelling them in shaving cream, cutting out the letters from the newspaper and spelling them and so on. It works! Josh has scored 100 on all his spelling test and loves to spell....so pick up a bag of skittles and let them practice spelling!
A pretty big day in the Stillings house, First Josh has qualified for MAWA Eastern Nationals. 16 of the best 60 lb Bantam will be competing for 8 trophies next weekend.... and Josh will be one of them. It was great to see how excited Josh was about this. He is ready to get in there and wrestle. SO this week it will be two nights of practice and lots of drills. It should be a great weekend and what an experience for him. Not to mention he has two very proud parents. Wrestling is not a sport for everyone, it is one hard sport, and it is not all about being an athlete, it is mentally a sport that you have to pick yourself up off the mat each time, no one to blame, no one to depend on but yourself. It can really mold you, and at this young age Josh is already showing the heart and head for the game.
Also last night we went to Josh's wrestling banquet. This was a great time for him to see his buddies and he had many many people wishing him luck for next weekend. They have all watched this little guy come into this program not knowing alot and going all the way to Eastern Nationals, and believe me we were not the only ones taking pride in that. You could see it in every coaches eye last night how proud they were of Josh and the other 4 boys going. Josh got the Sportsmanship Award last night, which the coach made a very nice speech about Josh, saying he could very easily gotten "Most Improved" also , but no matter what Josh came off the mat win or lose with a great attitude.
And last but not least ....THE BEAUTY of it all! Oh the sunshine was good to us yesterday.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
As I was making this layout last night, I thought "wow this page is busy". I have been doing pages with less pictures and liking it. I love the one picture layout, it just gives you more room for expression. Then while doing this page I thought about another reason I like the one page layouts, it is for a moment a way to slow down and just look at one thing, focus.
So how busy is your day? Do you make list? Are you getting older and a little scattered?
Answers: YES, YES and YES!
There are days that if I don't stay up from 6 am - midnight....I don't get a whole lot done. Or at least I feel like I didn't get done everything I should have. A typical weekday is...
Up about 6 am , sometimes 7 am
Get Josh off to school which is feed him, make sure he is dressed, teeth brushed, homework in the back pack and off on the bus by 8 am.
Then it is check the message board, do the checking, check emails and possibly order from a company on line. Check out blogs and generally check on things in the scrapbooking world. You have to stay on top of things when you own a store. You can not be on top if you sit around and wait for things to happen.
Then it is off to memory lane, pa! Love this place and it is a dream come true to be able to go there. Al tho it is a great place to get to go everyday, I am fully aware that it would not be possible if it wasn't for my wonderful life partner Kate. (hi honey) . Then it is back to get Josh off the bus, then homework. Check out more on the Internet and then dinner.
Now during sports season the rest of the nights sometimes are practice. Right now we have a breather, and we are enjoying a bit more family time playing games and cuddling.
Then it is off to bed for Josh and I am usually in my scrap studio or Kate and I try and have some conversation about the day. ( too rarely we get to do that anymore). Have to work on that.
Kate and I have made every decision together, and one of the biggest was when we decided to have a child. We knew we did not want to have a child unless one of us was home with him , and always available for him. We gave up a lot , we even accrued some debt by me quiting my job and raising Josh. But it is something I will never regret. I know it is good not to have debt, I know money is very important. But guess what, so is being a Mom, so is that time that you can never get back. You don't get another chance to see all that goes on in those first 5 years. I will not have anymore children. I knew that. I have a great gift....a miracle...Josh. I cherish every moment with him.
He now is in school all day so I am at the store when he is. I am home for him when he gets off the bus...that is the only way I will have it. Now don't get me wrong, I do sacrifice time that I don't want to. There are sometimes that frustrate me, I have to be at the store. Some Saturdays in the past year that I would have rather been cuddling on the couch watching cartoons, but duty calls at the store. Choices have to be made. I am grateful I have Kate, she is such a great Mom and so understanding. I love it when they get to spend quality time together too. It is a well balanced machine here....we learn as we go and love does conquer all.
So where am I going...well to the store in about 10 mins.....but here writing my thoughts...
I guess I have been thinking about the busyness of our life's. It is all good, but you have to make the right choices. Make sure every once in a while it isn't so busy, take the time to be with your family....and don't wait for that or keep saying there is time for that later. As we have been reminded this week again, time is not in our hands. Precious things can be taken from us in a matter of minutes, totally out of our control. My heart is so sadden by the events at VT.
I have to say it has been nice scrapbooking again, I am always a better person when I get to creatively express myself. I am very committed to getting back to the things that make me happy. I don't like struggling with that, being unhappy I have no time for myself. I am going to be 45 years old this year, and with age comes wisdom....not that I am wise by no means. But I have gained wisdom. I see things clearly, and I am much better at knowing what I want and expressing it. So if you made a list today, when you mark something off....give yourself a little TA DA!! Shout it out if you can :)
Monday, April 16, 2007
In other news, I saw this wonderful little guy in our grass on Friday. I love seeing the robins and other birds coming around. I feel so bad for them today tho, since it is SNOWING!!! Yeah check your calendars, it is April 16th. It is so nasty out there, I am not looking forward to venturing out today.
Josh did great this weekend at MAWA, he finished 5th in his division. The top 4 move on to Nationals, but I am so proud of him already. His first year of competitive wrestling and he did so great. I am looking forward to a little rest from the 2 practices a week for a while. Lots to get done around here. We are starting Lacrosse now, and that is just Sundays for now...we like that.
So, I am the Lunch lady today! No HAIR NET!! Josh says I am not the lunch lady, I am just a helper. The sarcasm is lost on him.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Josh had a great time really bonding with the "boys" he wrestles with and some new friends as well.
Wrestling this year has been a great experience, the coaches and parents have embraced us and Josh so much. The coaches have taken Josh so far this year, teaching him and always giving him encouragement where needed and instructions on how to do better. They all have said how far Josh has come this year and if he sticks with it, he will be a quite the wrestler.
Wrestling is that sport that it is all about you. There is no one else on that mat to help you. If you are going to win, it is all you.
I never watched wrestling, never knew how to get a point, what a take down was, how you pinned a guy or that you get 1 point for an escape.
Now I can even tell you what a wizzer is.
How to cement a guy.
Even how to get out of a head lock.
Josh can even tell you more, as he should since he has to do the actual moves.
But I also know that I have learned so much more...
How great it is to belong to the wrestling community, the people we have met thru this sport are some of the most wonderful people I have ever met. We spend alot of time together, basically from Dec-April at least 2 nights a week and one day on the weekend. Then tournament season begins in March and that could be almost every weekend.
We had such a great time getting to know the people we spend this much time with this weekend. Because we were away, we got to socialize after the matches, and just hang out laughing and enjoying each other. We joked about being Mom's of boys and all the stories are so much alike. We have the youngest boy in the group so you can imagine some of the things we have to look forward too.
I loved that Josh also got to know the boys better, he was so happy and he made new friendships as well. I loved our conversation on Friday night.
J: Mom you know that boy in the orange sweatshirt?
M: Dustin or Dillon
J: yeah Dillon
J: we really get along well.
J: and Ben and I got to know each other better too.
That just made me so happy. It is hard sometimes with an only child. You get the little guilts that they are growing up alone in some ways. But times like this make me feel so good about what we are doing. I know that he will have great relationships, and I know alot will be thru sports.
I know also now as an adult, that the people I spend the most time with are my friends...and they become your family. Don't get me wrong, I love my Sister, (Hi Denise) but the reality is we live two different lifestyles and we don't get to see enough of one another.
The people you have more in common with are the people you will spend more time with for the most part. So I am hoping for my son that these young relationships that are developing from sports are going to be long lasting ones that will get him thru alot of his life.
Friends, I know have got me thru some pretty rough times, and I couldn't do it without them.
Thursday, April 05, 2007
24 kids in Josh's division
medals for the top 8 in each division.
Lots of great fun!
So this morning I asked Josh to wear this outfit. He is such a jeans and t shirt guy and once in a while I long to see him a little dressed up. I am so thankful he will humor me and agreed with no fight. Then I of course took him outside and did a little photo shot. I love doing that. He is so damn handsome and I can't wait to get these pictures on a scrapbook page.
Have a great weekend, I know we will and Enjoy one another all dressed up this weekend!
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
So much more to blog about, just not alot of time....till then.