Wednesday, August 30, 2006

The start of any great day is a good breakfast. French toast !! There he goes , walking up to get ready to meet the bus !
Check out that hair ! Loving the look !
Special Day , Mom got to be here for this one . So glad to have her here today !
And the big yellow monster is here to swallow him up ! As you see he has none of the fears of his Mom !
Well this was one of the longest days of my life. I think it is only topped by the 10 hours of back labor I had waiting for Josh to enter the world.
The 8 hours today away from him is a close 2nd. I would look at the clock ever so often and just wonder what he was doing , wondering if he wanted to be at school.
I was hoping he was having the best day ever , and hoping that he was making friends.

Well 8 hours later the yellow monster spit him back out. He couldn't have had a bigger smile as the bus pulled up to his stop and he saw me.
He had a great day , made 2 friends , and even knew one of their names was Bryce. He had lunch and ate it all , didn't drink all his milk tho , and I now know there is something they poor left over milk into . He was a little excited about that detail. I said well it would be better if you actually drank your milk.
He likes his teacher , he said he listened alot today , not much else.
He went to bed tonight at 8:30 pm , which is at least an hour earlier then usual. Which is nice. He was tired.
He has his alarm set for another day and is ready for everything tommorrow.
Let's just hope I do better !!
Thanks for everyone's calls and emails today , meant alot to me .

12:35 am

It is officially the day my son goes to first grade.

He will get up in about 6.5 hours and start his day.

His day on his own , not with me.

He will be in a whole new enviroment , without me , on his own .

He will go and make decisions on what to eat , what to drink , who to sit with.

I will watch him ride away on the big yellow bus.

I won't know what he is doing .

I haven't even met his teacher.

Will he get hurt at recess? Will he meet new friends? Will he speak up if he needs something?

Will he remember his bus #?

Will he miss me ?

I will miss you Josh, I will miss you so much . I can't believe it is 6 years since I held you in my arms and thought about this day . It seemed so far away . I could think about it and smile , dream and hope you were ready.

I hope you have the confidence to jump right in with both feet. I hope you make some great new friends. I hope you enjoy learning and have fun with this new adventure. Tommorrow will seem like a long time. I know I can count on one hand the number of times we have been apart from one another for more then 8 hours.

I know you are going to be just fine. You are an amazing little guy. You can charm the best of them , and you are so smart.

Time for me to go to bed. I will try and be good and only show you my smiles tommorrow. But know as soon as you are out of sight ....the tears will flow....some happy , some sad. But also know I will be there when you get off the bus from your amazing day , waiting to hear every detail you will let me in on.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Practice , practice , practice, practice.....

That is where we have been 4 nights a week for the month of August. What a commitment sports are.
Not only for Josh , but for our family. But I have to say ...the joy it brings him and us is so worth every minute of it. We have met some wonderful kids, and families.
It is a true community . When you go from one sport to the next and see the same families over and over again , you get a real sense of this.
Josh's first scrimmage is on Saturday , I will miss this one . I am going to my first Scrapping weekend in over a year . Well one where I won't be working. The girls have threatened to tie me to my seat if I even think about getting up to help someone.
I am hoping Kate will take some great pictures of this weekend. I am going to leave my camera for her and just hope for the best :)
Have a great weekend !

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

everyone needs a bestest buddy!

I am loving this picture.
Josh and Alex started playing together in a Mom and me class at the YMCA .
They just almost instantly bonded and wanted to be together.
This was when they were 2 years old.
They went to pre school together for 2 years .
Then this past year they had to go to different schools , as we live about 15 minutes from each other.
I wasn't sure what this would do to their close bond.
Well during the school year they didn't get to see each other very much , I think it was only about 6 times . Some of them just a brief playtime at the store.
Josh had afternoon , and Alex had morning school.
Well these boys , even tho they have made other friends this year . Are so true to their bestest buddy.
We had Alex over for a sleepover and playdate. From the minute he walked in the door and dropped his bags , it was like he had been around all the time.
There truly is no other child that Josh plays this well with for a long period of time.
They just play , work out their tifs and you just hear laughter and other boy sounds.
At the end of the time together as we were driving Alex home the next day . Josh says " I wish Alex was my brother and could live with us all the time."
It makes me sad sometimes , knowing Josh will not have a brother or sister .
I have always tried to make sure he had alot of playdates .
Now with school , I don't always get to know the parents and childern as well , so it did get a bit more difficult last year.
He has a couple guys he likes to play with , but getting them together is sometimes hard.

So I have made a promise to Alex and Josh , that we will try and get them together once a month . Either he will come over here or Josh will go over there.
I believe they will be bestest buddies forever .
I know ...everyone needs a bestest buddy!

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

From 0 - 6 in just 6 short years !

Ok so here I was looking at my son , and I just couldn't help but really notice how big he is getting . yeah I know it happens, but at certain times it really hits you . I think it is all this thinking about him going into 1st grade. But whatever it is ...he is growing up so fast ! He is mr cool.
Don't get me wrong he is still my little cuddler , he still gives me those great kisses and those most wonderful hugs. He still thinks I am very cool and that I can do no wrong.
But when I see him standing there with the haircut he wants, not just how I did it without him knowing what he wanted.
With the clothes that he picks out ...not what I would pick out for him.
With a necklace on because he wanted one.
He is becoming his own little person.
He has his own opinions.
He has his own thoughts.
He sometimes even knows what he wants.
That is alot of change in just 6 years.
From the day you bring them home and you dress them , they have no opinion on anything for at least the first 2 years.
Then they start developing their personalities , then their attitudes .
Then all of a sudden you just have to step back as they start to become the person you see.
Now believe me I won't be far from the potter's wheel. I will be there to shape him as much as I can . But eventually you have to just let things take their own shape.
It is amazing to be such a part of someone's life. To know you brought this wonderful person into this world. That all those smiles are for you. That you have a lifetime of "I Love you Mom" in your future. (hey let me dream !) I know there will be some , " i don't love you so much" in there too, but that is a part of live and love.
So as I babble ...I realize just how fast time goes, and how big a deal each day is. I intend to cherish it all!!

Monday, August 21, 2006

Style......finding your own

Ok if anyone is counting ...this is hair cut # 3 of the summer. First it was just a crew cut , then it was ...I want a tail . Then oh yes the famous mohawk. Then it was , I want my mohawk to show more. So this is what happens when Kate and Josh are alone together on a Friday night . Let me tell you of my shock when I got home after a night with the girls at mlpa . I was like WHOA! What happened here tonight . Actually woke Kate up and asked her.
Of course all I could think of was ...hmmm 10 days till that first day of school and Josh will have this mohawk as he walks in to make that first impression on his new teacher !
Then I just slapped myself.
Here I was thinking about others judging my son because of looks.
Bad , bad mom.
I have always hated stereotyping anyone for their looks.
So after I had this little silent struggle in my own head , I of course took pictures the next morning , started thinking about the layout I was going to do about the "Styles of Summer 2006" and how I was going to design the layout. I just love scrapbooking !
I actually love that he feels he doesn't have to keep his hair the same all the time. He has learned that he can change his mind and make it what he wants. I love that part of Josh . He goes with the flo of life, ever changing. He is his own peep!
So here is to being who you want to be ! Cheers to you my little guy .

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

time .....

WOW ! I was amazed when I was looking at the pics that are on my desktop file . I don't use my desktop much anymore , but my laptop is down till later this week waiting for an AC power cord. Not a great time , since I had just opened the S.A.V.E. weekend and have all my spreadsheets on the laptop.
But it was kewl to see this pic on the left taken 2 years ago. Then this one taken last weekend. I am excited as I have been taking Stacey's Library of Memories Class on line from Big Picture. I am going to do some pages of "then and now" about Josh. It amazes me how much he has changed , not only physically and mentally ...but emotionally.
Even in one year , the difference in him playing football is just amazing. Anyone that knows Josh knows he is a silly goofball. He smiles all the time and just bounces around in everything he does.
Well this is his 2nd year of football and he will put on pads and a helmet next year. I was watching him in practice and he was being his goofy self. Not really doing the exercises and not really paying attention to the coaches. Well on a ride home last week , I had a talk with him and explained that he needed to pay attention and learn from these coaches. They are truly great guys and have a lot to teach these little guys.
So we talked and I told Josh all about practicing and dedication to doing something the best you can do it. I wasn't sure just how much he heard or was going to take in .
Well this week I have watched my son who was goofing off at practice , do the exercises with determination . He has been listening to the coaches and has improved 100% in this week. As a result , he is playing more ( because he is making the plays) and he is beaming with pride when he gets a flag , or runs the ball for a TD ! He actually came over to the sideline tonight and said " I am doing good aren't I Mom?" I was so proud of him!! I was just beaming and I have told him how awesome he has been doing !
He also has been coming home from practice every night and practicing his Kicking and Punting . Tonight was Kick , Pass and Punt competition
. We will find out tomorrow if he was in the top 3 in his age group. He did ok , but I am so proud of the dedication he put into it .
As I have been talking to Josh about all this . I have also been reflecting on the past year in a part of my life. memory lane, pa a little dream come true. I have wanted to open a scrapbook store for sometime. Well a couple years, but thought like so many other dreams I have had , it was just that ...a dream. Then opportunity actually came my way last year and with Sarah , we made a dream come true and opened the doors on Aug 20th, 2006 . Sarah and I didn't discuss alot of specifics of our partnership. We went on a lot of faith and trust in ourselves and one another. Actually looking back , we are probably one of the most relaxed partnerships ever to enter into a retail store together. There wasn't alot of paperwork , we just did the legal paper saying we were partners and we started ordering product ! As our first year is fast approaching , I would say we somehow knew , or guessed right ! We have had a great year , not only in success of a business, but even more in success of our friendship. It has only grown stronger , we have gotten to know one another better. We have found our "nitches" . We flow well together with each other's strengths and weaknesses. It takes a lot of practice to be a good partner and also a friend in business. It is not always exactly how you would want it to be. But you do learn to let somethings roll of your back , and you learn what you need to discuss and come to an agreement in . I am not sure what this year will bring , but I can only hope and work at it being another successful year. As both are family's grow , and change we can only stay in constant communication with one another and be open and honest with one another . I do believe that has been one of the keys to our success.
I truly love what I do ! I don't like the toll it has taken on my family at times. But we have a strong foundation and I think it is actually getting much better already. It is a lot of work , but it is a wonderful , wonderful thing to be able to meet some of the most amazing people in the world on a daily basis. Even more , it is a blessing to actually be able to call these amazing people friend !
So I raise a glass this week to Sarah , thanks for being my partner in this wonderful adventure.
Kate, for being my rock ...and raising our wonderful son wtih me .
Josh.....for being my reason !
All you ladies , that have made mlpa the amazing place it is !

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Sea Isle City

I am sitting here at my friend Maria's summer home in Sea Isle City . We are leaving in a couple hours to go home . The house is very quiet as everyone is still sleeping. The sun is up and it is going to be another wonderful day .
The view here is just wonderful , you look to the right and you see the bay . To the left is the ocean (not in view) , but you know it is there.

There is nothing like a beach town or (shore town ) as I am sure you call it if you are from NJ . It is just another culture as I would call it. Everything just slows down a bit , there is really no place to be at a certain time. No schedules . No meal times. Everything and everyone just moves at their own speed. If you want to pack your day with lots to do you can. If you want to do absolutely nothing , you can .
I just loved watching Josh yesterday , he got a little freedom from his mom's yesterday. I don't believe we talked to him for more then 15 minutes . He was playing with Jake , Mike and various other little dudes on the beach . They were digging , boogie boarding and just running in and out of the water. I think there was even some football throwing going on . It was nice to just sit and talk with Maria .
My friend Ali V . even came down . It was so great to see her and Dave !
It is funny that we live about 40 minutes from each other all year , and we got together 3 hours from home .
I just fell in love with this place in a matter of a couple hours.
This town is very unique and has many stories. Just a few I learned.
As we were walking around town , Kate and I noticed that 90% of the homes looked fairly new. We found out that after the Hurricane in 63' that alot of the homes were lost. The houses that they built to replace them only were built to last about 20 - 30 years. So in the 90's alot of the homes were either moved or bulldozed and everyone built new. Alot of 2 and 3 story side by sides as they call them here. Twins if you live in pa.
Also we have found out that this is a town of generations. As you walk around on the beach you see circles of chairs . As you look in these circles you see from Grandparents to grand children. We started to realize this is a norm in Sea Isle. As I was talking to Maria she confirmed this and said she actually has been coming here since she was 8 years old. You have to love a town like this ! It just gave me warm fuzzies !!
It has been a great summer and we are so lucky we got to enjoy the beach twice .
So we have just had a great weekend, it was so relaxing and just so wonderful. I can't thank Jack and Maria enough for having us !
Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

I just love creating ....

I Love telling a story that will be with generations to come. I love letting Josh know how much I love him and also leaving him stories to read , so when I am no longer with him here ...he will know thru them how much I loved him. This layout is the first in a long time that the thoughts just started to flo and I sat down did the journaling and the page came together in about 20 minutes.
The Journaling reads :

As I took a look outside to make sure you were alright , I saw you sitting. In an instant I wanted to shout out to you and ask, “ What are you thinking about Josh? or the thought even crossed my mind, “A penny for your thoughts”.
(Which then you would have been more concerned with the fact of why your thoughts would only be worth a penny.)
Instead I went in the house and got the camera, put on the zoom lens and devoured the moment up click by click of my camera. I couldn’t get enough .
I was quite content with my own thoughts. Making up my own ideas of what you could be thinking about.
As I stood there capturing the moment I also thought , how frigin cool is it that you …my 100 mph boy has paused for a minute ! Sitting having a moment to himself. Whatever it may be about .
Did I really want to invade on that time? Did I really want to know exactly what thoughts you were having ?
Were you day dreaming ?
Were you thinking about what you want to be ?
Were you thinking about your next battle and how you were going to defeat your enemies with the new tinker toy sword you had just built?
Whatever your thoughts were at this moment will just be your very own !
I will just sit back and always be here , capturing the moments of you .
Here whenever you need to ask questions .
Here whenever you need to feel safe.
I will always try and give you freedom to express yourself and take time for yourself.
Never stop dreaming , thinking or taking time for yourself.
Journaled 08/06

Friday, August 04, 2006

Love , like I never knew before .....

Josh, I hope you know and always will know how much I love you !
Today Kate took Josh to NYC with her . She had to go and check on her jobsite up there. Josh was so excited . He LOVES going to work with Mom. I mean what is not to love ..he gets to put on a hard hat and walk around with the boss ! Much better then being at the scrapbook store with me .
But the cutest thing was the call I got about an hour ago.
The phone rings and Josh is on the other end.
J: Hi Mom .
Me: Hi Josh , are you in NYC?
J: Yep , I am getting ready to do some coloring .
Me: Oh great !
J: I just wanted to call you so you wouldn't worry . We will be coming home in the afternoon , and I am ok .
Me: Well thanks buddy, I miss you .
J: Miss you too you ! Wanna talk to Mom?
Me: love you too ....sure .

He is just amazing . Of course Kate prompted the call , but just the fact that they both know I worry about them when they are not with me .

I can't believe my little one got on the train , and is in NYC. I know he is safe with Kate but I can't help but worry a bit. It is a BIG City !!!

So I have been up since they left, couldn't go back to sleep . I have sipped my coffee ..mmmmmmmm! I have been working on some scrapping projects . Read my new Simple (GREAT ISSUE!) , and just relaxing a bit till I have to start my day .

Can't wait to see my little guy this afternoon . Hope he enjoys his big day in the City !!

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Organizing is cleansing for the soul !!!

I feel it ...can you feel it ??

Breathe it in .....

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel!

It is called having something actually completed !

I tell you I walk around every day and I swear I am never going to finish anything ! Do you ever feel like that ? Not that I am not doing 10 things at is just completing something that feels so good!

Well this morning I finished a year of editing , and getting every digital picture of the year on disc , backed up to an external hard drive and uploading them to snapfish. HA ! I have 3 places that my most precious memories are preserved.
I have been a little freaked out while reading different things on CD's not lasting , and I have already had a couple computer crashes , so I didn't want to risk ever losing my pictures ! I LOVE digital ....but there goes a certain responsibility with it also .
I also had a great time looking back at the year , I got alot of great page ideas and I was going thru some of the shots. So now that they are organized and soon to be printed ( ones that aren't yet) , I will be a creating fool!!! Wahoooooooooo!
So here are some of the pics that I just can't wait to create with and tell their stories .

Stories to follow!