Gotta love it , a day as an adult you dread.....cleaning up all the leaves that fall. But all it takes is one kid to remind you what fun it can be also. Josh continues to show me how great it is to be a kid. You can just hear him saying ..."Kowabunga dude" ....can't you ?? Then this sweet face looks up at me thru the leaves and I am once again reminded how frigin wonderful a son I have, and all the joy he has brought to my life. I just can't imagine life without him. How can I not look at those eyes and see the most amazing boy in the whole world. He has changed my life forever, just as each season changes the outdoors. He is always thinking, here he saw Kate throwing leaves off the porch and saw the metal dogs dish laying there. Why wouldn't you pick that dish up and catch the leaves??
That was such a fun day ...and now I just talked to Kate and she is away this week for 4 days. I miss her bunches. Wrestling practice is in full swing and we are looking forward to another great season. Have lots of projects going on here in the ole scrap studio and enjoying them all .
Happy times, hugs and fun. I love looking at pictures, I love having memories. Sometimes thru the day I get tired. Running the store, coming home doing homework with Josh, then dinner to be made and eaten. Wrestling practice, cleaning. Checking in on the message board. Doing the ordering that needs to be done on line. Writing the list for tommorrow. Answering emails. I am really trying to find the time to scrapbook more. To just print out some pictures and scrapbook them. But I am finding even when I find the time, I am organizing more then doing. By the time I get to sit down and be in my studio, It is piled with collections of things that got thrown there, because that is all the time I had to do. I have been digging thru those piles and getting them in places. I know the time is coming that I can do what I love. I get in this place every once in a while, I start to wonder is it worth it. Putting in 5 or 6 days a week running a store. I don't have much time to do what I really love to do create. When I do get some time I am so tired I can't create. I keep thinking I will find the balance, I will get it together. I am going to try a few things soon. I am going to start taking a day off here and there at random and not plan any running around but actually stay home , or be with a girlfriend and replunish "me" . I am so blessed, I love my soul mate Kate. My son Josh is the most precious gift I have ever been given, he is my heart. I go to a place each day that is so much more then a job. It is a love. I have met some incredible womyn in the past few years, some are becoming my best friends. So if you are ever feeling a little overwhelmed.....look back at a few pictures that make you smile. Off to make some Stuffed Green Pepper soup and Pumpkin Pie Fudge... Peace out !
As I am going to here...WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! We have great hope as we awake this morning !!! Oh I know by next week , or next year we could be just as bad off as we are right now....but again my faith is restored in Americans. They actually showed last night they are TIRED , FED UP and need a change !!!! John Carey might have botched a joke , but Bush had botched so much more ....including a war.
Record turn outs !!! That's what it takes to get the true pulse of America. I am so proud of everyone that voted. You make those womyn that fought for us to vote PROUD!
I know there are people that disagree and they are not happy with the results, but just as we had to swallow the hard pill when Bush won , we now get a happy pill and we can now have hope.
Maybe we can start to repair , maybe we can find a way to end this war. Maybe just maybe.
I have to say when I heard Cheney say "no matter the outcome , this administration willl continue full speed ahead" . I think ole Dick has forgotten....the PEOPLE get to say what speed we go ...and I believe they have spoken !!! NOT SO FAST ...DICK!!!
Now we need to start a campaign.....Put all these damn negative ads , and flyers and everything else down. Use the money you use to put someone else down and make a fund for the hungry , the sick the homeless!!! It would be amazing what we could do with that money used for no good and make it for the good !!!
So I hold my head high today , I just wish that Bush and his "administration " would get it . America wants change and they don't like the direction it is going in . So LISTEN to the people , be the President ...this is not YOUR country it is OURS !!!
Well it has been an interesting few days. Kate flew out to see her Mom this weekend , so it was just Josh and I . I thought we would do a few fun things together and just hang out a little. I knew Josh would be missing Mommy and I was looking forward to spoiling him a bit . Well the best layed plans can go so wrong. First I have been fighting a cold this week , so I am a little worn down. Then Josh started getting it too, coughing a bit and I could tell he was not feeling all that great. Well Friday rolled around and we said goodbyes to Mommy , Josh went to school and I started my day. Then came the paper I pulled out of Josh's backpack ...."Josh poked a student with a pencil" Josh proceeded to explain that the other child gluesticked his desk. I called the teacher , we talked. She is VERY good. I was made aware that she has told the children she didn't want any "tattletailing" Now to a six year old...that means telling on anyone. So Josh said he didn't tell her about the gluesticking , because that would be tattletailing. So I have tried to explain the difference , and the teacher will also on Monday. We also talked about it not being acceptable to poke someone with a pencil. It is so hard to teach all this stuff, it was difficult to explain the difference between tattletailing and telling the teacher things she needs to know . I hope I covered it . It is such a fine line. Alot for his little mind I am sure. Josh has been having a bit of a problem making good decisions lately. I have noticed a little "rebel" coming out. He has not been listening as well as usual. (not that it was perfect) but it just slowly has been getting worse. This weekend being alone with him just magnified it somewhat. Being the only parent , no one else but him and I together ...no one else to take a shift really made it the big picture. I would ask him to do something and he would either ignore me or just keep doing what he was doing , or argue about what I wanted him to do . I would ask him nicely about 3 or 4 times ....then and only if I would yell would he even move. I just hate to yell , I end up feeling so low everytime I have to yell to get his attention. Do you ever just break down crying once you are alone ? Do you just feel like the worse parent in the world ? Do you think you will never just be able to get thru? I felt all those things this weekend. I just wanted to crawl in a hole , I couldn't tell Josh how bad I was hurting . I had no one to really bounce it off from. I don't know how single parents do it. It just would suck. I don't ever want to be one. Now Josh is in bed , asleep hopefully having sweet , sweet dreams. I love him soooooooooooo much . I want him to always know that , and I hope he does. He told me today that I was always fair, even when I had to send him to his room . He was so damn cute. At one point today after he had a time out , he came out and said ...Mom I miss you . Now we had been together all day , but I know what he was saying. So I know tommorrow is a whole new day and I know he will try hard tommorrow to do the things we talked about. I can only hope that the lessons he is learning now are easier learned now rather then later. I know it is frigin hard on me . It actually sucks being the parent when you have to punish them. I wish they would just "get it" so we didn't have to . I think I will go use some of this energy for good and organize my scraproom.
This year is such a "learning" time. Not only for Josh who went into the first grade in one big leap with both feet , but also for his 2 moms. Everyday is an experience....and experience that I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would be in . It is very strange to see him learning things that we have nothing to do with . Example : Yesterday he came home with a test paper where he had to circle a former president. He circled Abe Lincoln. Then he had to identify the present president. He put an X thru George Bush. We didn't teach him those things. He learned it in school. Then as we are driving last night he asked me "Who are you voting for in the election , Mom? " After I got over the initial shock that this was coming from my little guy in a booster seat . I told him . He then proceeded to say that , that is who he is voting for also , because they are having thier own election at school . So to take it a step further , I asked him why he would vote for this person. He then told me " Because he has more experience and good ideas" Well I guess that sums it up ! I can only imagine many conversations with Josh , we have already had some really great ones while driving to places. I know I keep saying it , but he is just an amazing little guy , one that I know is going to accomplish great things. He is so thirsty for all this place has to offer and wants to soak it all in . There are crazy times that he also reminds me that is just 6 and can't find his socks , or remember where he left his library book . He quotes Sponge Bob scenes word for word, and he does other things that makes his Moms just shake thier heads. But I must say ...my life would be so boring and so empty without him , I can't even imagine life without one miracle such as we have . Peace out !
"One of the most stringent conditions all angels must meet, other than double-advanced harp playing and skydiving abilities (not necessarily at the same time), is that they must not allow themselves to feel hurt or rejected by the choices made by others, no matter how much they've done for them nor how great their love.