National Place Winner from the Tournament of Champions!

What an exciting year for our little guy! 

Josh has entered 2 National Tournaments this year and he has placed in both of them.

He got 2nd at War @ the Shore, National Folkstyle Tournament

and he just placed 3rd at OHIO Tournament of Champions Nationals.

At Ohio , he lost his first match and had to win 7 in a row to come back to 3rd place!!! 

He just continues to amaze me with his dedication, determination and just right out love of the sport of wrestling. He is a little warrior at the whole age of 9! 

Josh also has been doing wonderful in school, which we really are so very proud of, he brought his Science grade from a B to an A this last marking period, making it 2 A's and 4 B's !! He also improved all his behavior points and has +'s in many areas, which means strength.  We are so very very proud of how hard he has been working to be a great student and athlete at the same time. 

So we are now on our way to Eastern Nationals this next weekend, where Josh will be competing for the 3rd year in a row. If he keeps wrestling the way he has been, he will hopefully return to the podium. 

Below are a few recent pictures I wanted to share. 
The Dandelions are up and Josh greeted me at the door yesterday morning with a fresh handful. 
Podium shot @ Ohio
The Tournament of Champions Clock for 3rd Place
War @ the Shore 2nd Place Trophy
Podium Shot from War @ the Shore

love it that you can always come home!

This space is always here for me when I want to come and visit. Like when your parents save your room just the way you left it as a kid!!

I don't have that room since my parents are now in Texas instead of Maine, but I have my blog spot!

So life has been busy, life has been great, life has been busy! 

I have said more then once lately, how the heck did I do it before when I owned the Scrapbook Store, how did I do that and all that needed to be done here.  The answer is I didn't do it!  I now realize just how empty I was. I now realize I am so happy I have grown and am now the person I want to be. I am so happy that part of my life is very much over.  I hate that person I became, thinking I was living my dream, but in reality I wasn't. I was being selfish, thinking I needed to own a business to be a success. Thinking I needed to be important. When in reality, I love being a Mom, I love volunteering, and I love my little retreat business. 

I let myself get wrapped up in the drama of woman, and even created more drama in my life then I would ever want to have ever again.  The best part, is once you leave the drama behind, and you leave  the emotional vampires behind, you can start to realize just how much it consumed your life. Don't get me wrong, I met some WONDERFUL woman in my time as a store owner, and I cherish those that are still my friends thru all the darkness. I give you alot of credit that you loved me even through the dark part. I was pure ugly! Thank you so much.  I regret those that didn't think enough of me to love me anyway. I regret that there is no repair of the friendships that I thought were true. I would love to reconnect with a few people, but I know their hate for me is probably beyond repair. I have come to accept that I may never see them again, but I also always hold out hope that they will contact me and want to meet up at Starbucks.  Cause a good cup of coffee and a friend, it doesn't get much better then that. 

Something about a rainy day , it always makes me reflect and want to purge and clean something, today it seems to be my soul. It will also be the house too....since that needs my attention too. 

Today is today, I am doing great. My online store is doing ok, the economy stinks, as we all know, but scrapbooking is still going on.  I hope to be doing more of this very soon.  Right now we are so involved in wrestling! Josh has had a wonderful year with six 1st place trophies. He is now in the post season and he is very focused! He has been doing practice 4 nights a week and he wants to get better. I can see his maturity level increasing. He is wanting to learn things and perfect them. He isn't just going thru the motions. It is amazing to watch him. This weekend is Regionals for MAWA, and he has to finish in the top 4 to go on to Eastern Nationals.  He has 3 State Champions in his bracket , so it is going to be a tough road. But I know he is very determined and my stomach will churn for him as he trys.  I hope his hard work pays off. 

So it is Friday, and the weekend is almost here! We have a busy one with wrestling on Saturday and then on Sunday we are going to see Katy Perry in concert and we are very excited. Hope to blog more, when I have something to say , or at least something that is needing to be journaled. 

oh the places I have been!

Hello blog, have you missed me?

I have been on new and exciting adventures!

I found facebook....and fell into this big dark hole.

It is a little easier then a blog, it is fun and quick.

Photos uploads are easier, and with everything going on

easier is just the way to go sometimes.

But I know not everyone has facebook, so I am back to catch up.

Waving to Mom, Dad , Sis....if you are still reading!

First it is wrestling season! Nuff said!! Yes the weekends you can find the Stillings in a gym near you, or not so near you. We are travelling PA, NJ, MD, and possibly Ohio this year. Josh also is being looked at by the SEPA team, Southeast PA team, where he would go to National Team events and wrestle for PA , it is very exciting. I haven't even told him yet, We were approached at the last tournament we were at by the director, he has been watching Josh for a while. 

I have been still growing the hairs on my head, loving my new looks and having fun with different styles. I like the fun you can have once it is longer. So far so good...I haven't wanted to cut it off yet. Headbands help!
Josh went to his first tourney of 2009, he won 1st place in his division! It is a great start to the year. He was very proud and ready to win some more. He was very excited to get back in the practice room and get even better and work hard this week. I love his love for wrestling, I hope his passion stays with him and he becomes all he wants to be.  Oh and notice his new singlet, the Bobby Weaver Olympic Singlet, he got for his birthday, and was very proud to do it justice. 
I have got a new computer...IMAC 24" , it is more then a computer...it is just amazing and I haven't even started to learn everything yet. So I wanted to get a desk, I found this one at Staples today online, for $79 and FREE SHIPPING!!! I am so excited!! It will be here on Friday and hope to put it together. I can't wait to have my home office all set up. Then freeing up my Scrapbooking Studio for Creating! It is going to be a whole new year for creating! 

So that is about it for today. Josh will be home soon, then it is homework, some dinner, off to practice , home for bed. 

I love my life!

I love my friends!

I cherish what I have!

It is a great day!

Time to dust off and get back to ......

I loved that line from yesterday. You could put that in every one's life and finish it the way you need to. For America, it is a big dusting off. It is time to leave the old ways that are not working and find the new way to do things that will work. Yesterday for the first time, I felt that it will be possible to pull this great place we call home out of the ruins. Yesterday was fresh, hopeful, inspiring and just plain beautiful!

I loved the reports that there were Millions of people and not 1 arrest!!! It was a beautiful day.

I loved seeing all the people on T.V. in Washington, people there to witness history, to be a part of history. People there for their great grandparents, people there that believed in the words of MLK, and believed in the dream all these years. What a range of emotion they must have had yesterday.

But what I love most about yesterday, is the HOPE of CHANGE....and yes right now it is still a hope, we have to hope and pray that the President can now put his plan into action and produce the Change we all hope for.

What I didn't like about yesterday, are the comments from people that don't believe in our President, the negative comments , people making fun , people not getting what the big deal is, what all the hype was. How sad that they couldn't put things aside yesterday and actually enjoy the greatness of the day. NEVER has there been so much hype about an incoming president, there is reason for this. I realize that some still need to "see" and have "proof" that there is something to cheer about. But sometimes a little hope and faith goes a long way. I will continue to pray for all of us, and I hope that everyone will have a reason to believe soon.

I want to enjoy yesterday for a very long time.

Anything is possible.

I have shut off comments for today's post. I want to celebrate this day, and I know there are many opinions on this subject, but for today....I want to just celebrate.

It is my Blogoversary today!

3 years!

458 Post!

500 + Pictures!

Having a place to put my thoughts down....

PRICELESS!!

I love this place

I don't visit it everyday...

But sometimes I write everyday ....

It is a place that is always here for me...

It doesn't judge me...

It lets me talk...

It is here for Josh , someday if he wants to know his Mom's thought on an average day.

It lets Kate know if she wants to come home somedays.

It gives me a place to celebrate, cry, laugh, and reflect.

Happy 3rd Anniversary Blog.....Love, ME!

Love a good snow day!

Don't adjust your computer screen, I really did scrapbook!
I so miss sitting down and creating. It is just something that gets put on the back burner too often. Not that I don't love the craziness of my life, but once in a while I like it to stop and allow me to create. Something just for me.
Snow days tend to do that for me. I love a good snowday, one where everyone is home and we have no where to go. Just love it! Put on a good pot of soup and relax for the day.

Sunday was another day on the wrestling mat. Not one of the stellar team Stillings days on the mat. Josh had to learn a hard lesson this weekend. One that I hope he can learn at 8 and not have to relearn at 18. One that I hope sticks with him and the pain of it teaches.
Josh has had a big year of accomplishments, you know the kind you are so happy for when they reach them. those ones they work so hard for. Josh made the Varsity wrestling team this year, he has been on JV for 2 years and really wanted to be on Varsity, it is a big deal, they are the ones that get all the glory. When you are on JV , you could go undefeated all year, but it really doesn't get the status that a varsity wrestler would get. You are kinda the warm up team. Not that JV wrestlers don't practice hard, but there is always someone better then you in the room , and they are on the varsity team. So BIG deal! He worked hard for it, and got the crown this year. Then Josh also won his first Open Tournament. He has gone to lots of tournaments, and kept coming away with 2nds, and 3rds. Never getting that top prize. Then Dec 27th, he got it. I thought at first he was going to sleep with it. He was so proud of it.
With Victory , sometime comes defeat. Sometimes you defeat yourself. Doesn't seem like there should be sadness in such success does it?
Life, it is a funny animal.
The defeat, he lost his drive to get better, he hit what some would call a plateau. I can see how you could do this, you work so hard...shouldn't you be able to relish in it? Yep you should for about a day! That is all the time you can have in a sport as demanding as wrestling. Because you know what, that kid Josh beat on Saturday for 1st place, beat him on Sunday for 1st place in another tournament. Yep, and beat him 10-0. Right then I saw it start happening. Josh was not the determined wrestler I saw just 24 hours before. He was what I would call cocky, over confident about himself. He figured he had won this match before he wrestled it. While on the other side was a kid who didn't want to lose again, and had come to win.
Hard loss for Josh, but still he went home with 2 pins that day and a 2nd place trophy. Not bad for a day. I thought that he had maybe learned his lesson that you can never stop working, you had to keep working harder, or you will always be 2nd, and we know that is the 1st loser.
But as I watched Josh in practice over the next few weeks, I saw him not working hard, not improving his mistakes, but getting mad at me when I pointed them out. He is a stubborn boy, and that comes right from ME! Yep sorry about that Josh. But I have had to learn when to give that up, just as he will. Well ok so I am still learning, but I can hope to teach him earlier can't I!?
So he won his league match last week, against a younger boy, not as experienced, but he didn't wrestle well at all. Hips on the mat, and sloppy stuff, that against a better wrestler, he would have not got away with. But you can't tell Josh anything when he wins, cause he only knows he won. He is 8 and winning is everything, so it was going to take a loss to get thru to him, and 2 losses in one day might really drive the point home. Well the point has been driven home. Josh actually had a defensive pin this weekend. He is up 8-0 in a match, handling this wrestler and he had his hips on the mat, he was sloppy, but again up 8-0 not listening and he pulled the wrestler back on himself and pinned himself. Not the first wrestler to ever do this, but it isn't a proud moment. He was all upset and he didn't even understand what happened. Again 8 years old. (I keep reminding myself of this) . This is where I just love our coaching staff. Len who is a guy that wrestled alot of matches in his lifetime, and also has been coaching Josh for 3 years, takes Josh and sits him on his knee, a little while after his match and talks with him. Explains to Josh what happened and why it happened. Len is a great coach and has seen Josh come along way. He wants to see Josh go further and work up to his potential. You have to love guys that take the time to teach these boys how to be champions everyday.
So on to the second match. Josh knows he must correct his mistakes and keep his hips up, let go of bad holds and stay in control. Coach needs him to wrestle up in the next weight class. So he is going against a heavier kid, but Josh is strong. The wrestler is also a 6th grader, but we don't let Josh know this. Josh doesn't make the mistakes he made in the first match, hips are up and when they get on the mat they are back up in no time. He lost 4-0 but was a much better match.
So we have since talked, we watched the dvd of his matches, yep the painful one too. Josh understands that what the adults try and teach him is what he needs to learn, and we aren't trying to tell him things just to talk, but to actually help him be a better wrestler. Also I let him know that if I didn't believe in him and believe that he would win more 1st place trophies , then I wouldn't even try and get him to be better. I just hope he is going to start understanding it. I just hope he can start to drive himself again , like he did last year to reach his goals. He needs new ones. We set some last night. We are a team, and team Stillings is back on track!
Not sure everyone will understand this whole post about 8 year old wrestling, but it is much more then that. It is life and as any child , Josh didn't come with a manual , and we are figuring out everything together. I would not drive him hard , if he didn't want to be a champion. But when he comes to me and tells me he wants to be a Pro football player and go to College and wrestle , then I feel it is my job as his parent to give him every tool to achieve his goals. In return he knows he has to do his very best and drive himself even more. I love Josh so very much, he is my little miracle and my everyday joy in my life. I feel each defeat and each victory with him. He does know I am his #1 fan. And at the end of the day , we cuddle and say our love yous. That is worth every tear to me.

2009...I can accept that

Well Hello Blog!
I have missed you and I have to say, 2009 snuck up on me fast!
I can not believe that in 4 days I will have been doing this blog for 3 years!
That is so cool. I love looking over the post from the past 3 years and seeing where I have been and what I have done, good and bad. I love reliving the times about Josh and our family. The things we have lost , the wonderful times we have gained. I am sure this year will prove to be another great adventure.


Josh will be 9 years old in 25 more days!!! WOW WOW WOW....I just can't grasp that yet. I still remember driving away from the hospital and looking back and seeing that we really had a baby boy we were taking home to love and cherish...and now....we have a wonderful little boy that we love and cherish and has filled our life in so many ways.

Ok now I am hummming "How do you measure a life" from Rent! Oh that one will be there all day!

I am getting ready for another S.A.V.E. , this is our 5th Year, WOW again. I am guessing that is my word for today! With 100 ladies coming to this event it will be a wonderful time again. I always get a little stressed getting everything ready , but once up there and things are moving along, it all falls together and we have a wonderful time. This time I am excited to have Mimi Leinbach and Jen Starr coming to teach and do make n takes!

I have picked a word to be my mantra in 2009, it is ENJOY! I find myself doing , doing , doing, and not always enjoying what I am doing. Not that I am miserable, just need to relax and enjoy more during the moment. Balancing the doing with enjoying. Scrapbooking more. Oh I need that so much. I know so many of us in the same place, the Scrapbooking gets put off except when we plan a weekend to go and do it. I am going to make an effort to take those moments in the day when I can sit down and create. leave a spot to do that. I am lucky I have a whole room for this, but I let it get over run with other things and then I don't have my space. That is changing right now. A new place for the bills to be done, a new place for the business paperwork. A new place for all other things that clutter my desk. Clear yourself a little space too, a little time, and start creating those pages. I challenge everyone that reads this to a page a week. Ok so every Friday starting Next Friday , I will post a layout....I challenge others to do the same , in your comment link me to your layout , I will pick a layout each week as the layout of the week, and there will of course be some type of prizes involved. You know how I like to give prizes!! OK who is in!!?? Come on ladies lets take back scrapbooking!!!