12:35 am

It is officially the day my son goes to first grade.

He will get up in about 6.5 hours and start his day.

His day on his own , not with me.

He will be in a whole new enviroment , without me , on his own .

He will go and make decisions on what to eat , what to drink , who to sit with.

I will watch him ride away on the big yellow bus.

I won't know what he is doing .

I haven't even met his teacher.

Will he get hurt at recess? Will he meet new friends? Will he speak up if he needs something?

Will he remember his bus #?

Will he miss me ?

I will miss you Josh, I will miss you so much . I can't believe it is 6 years since I held you in my arms and thought about this day . It seemed so far away . I could think about it and smile , dream and hope you were ready.

I hope you have the confidence to jump right in with both feet. I hope you make some great new friends. I hope you enjoy learning and have fun with this new adventure. Tommorrow will seem like a long time. I know I can count on one hand the number of times we have been apart from one another for more then 8 hours.

I know you are going to be just fine. You are an amazing little guy. You can charm the best of them , and you are so smart.

Time for me to go to bed. I will try and be good and only show you my smiles tommorrow. But know as soon as you are out of sight ....the tears will flow....some happy , some sad. But also know I will be there when you get off the bus from your amazing day , waiting to hear every detail you will let me in on.