Everyone do the Robot !!

Now this is what Halloween is all about. Smiling faces, and little ones having fun !!

Josh and Declan had so much fun tonight ...my feet hurt !! We must of visited about 40 houses and each one was better then the next. What a great neighborhood, they really enjoyed the kids and seeing all the costumes. J & D got great compliments on their costumes, and Josh got two " That is the best costume of the night" comments.

People were in awe of the silver box . They made comments like , "that is so awesome" , "Did you make that" , "what a great idea" . They made me feel so great about the time that Josh and I spent making this costume. I enjoyed it so much . I know it is a halloween he will remember also. At the end of the night riding home he told me he had a GREAT time tonight Mom.

That just made me smile even more .

Now , on the topic bad blogger. Sorry to the two people that read my blog :) I haven't been good about blogging lately. Not that I don't have something to say ....but the time to do it in is the issue. It seems every evening that I think I might get to it ...it is 10 or 11 o'clock before I realize it . I was just looking ahead at this week and realized , one night halloween , next is wrestling practice , then we have one night and Kate has a business night . It is just very busy.

So in other news, Kate and I got a fun day playing golf on Monday . I hadn't swung my clubs in 2 years but some of it came right back to me . I really enjoyed the day and the colors of the trees right now are just breath taking . So here's to a great halloween ....hope you got plenty of treats!

last football game of the season

Yep it is over for 2006. It was such a great year!!! Josh has grown so much and as an athlete and football player he just got it this year. I know it is crazy to be talking about a 6 year old as an athlete. But I must say since he was 2 and running and throwing the ball around , we just knew he was going to be a little boy who loved sports. Oh yeah in the back of my mind I really wanted this for him . I love sports and it was one of those things in my childhood that probably got me thru some really hard times. I always had sports and it was one thing I was very good at. I was so proud of myself when I would get all state or my name in the paper. It was one thing that no one could take away from me.
Oh yeah , what was I talking about .....Josh !
Yeah that's right.
I just loved talking the pictures every week , talking with the parents , cheering the kids on and watching how proud and happy they were everytime they came off the field. It truly was a great season , and bonus ....we went UNDEFEATED !!! 8-0 what a great job !!

Next year it will be helmets , pads and that cracking of helmets and pads. A sound I am already hearing ....I love football , but not so sure how much I will love it when some other little guy is tackling Josh. I just hope he gives more then he gets !! Giving is so much better , right ?!

So here is to you Greenjackets ! AWESOME JOB!!

Mr. Amazing !

Simply amazing ! He is reading more and more every day !

I am in awe of him , each and every word that he reads.

I know other kids read, yes I know that some even read better then him.

But , they are not him. He is just amazing !

I got to go to school this past week and spend a couple hours with him in his class.

It was very strange to see him in his class. He has a routine and stuck to it , even tho I was there.

He knew what he had to do , and even tho he would look at me and smile , he had tasks to complete and he stayed on task.

He just simply amazes me every single day .

Exercise!

Ok , so I am on my way to CURVES...for the 2nd time this week . 3 Times a week , 30 minute workouts.
I am going to do this !!!
Eating healthier , moving more !!

Football Saturday

I can't believe there is only one more game in the season. It seems so long to some but for us it is over too quick. He enjoys playing so much an we enjoy watching just as much !

It has been a great year with a great team , great coaches and wonderful parents. Sports are so great !!! I just think back 20 years ago....no where did I have thoughts at being at my son's football games. No where did I know what joy it would be having Josh. You truly never know what road life is going to bring you down. My only suggestion is to hold on to the wheel and enjoy the ride.



Josh ran for about 20 yards on Saturday . He has improved so much . He gets "turning the corner" The joy in his face as he strides down the field is so worth all the practice.

It is amazing to have a whole sideline of parents cheering for you as your run.

So as this great season comes to an end , it is sad in a way , but also it has some great memories.

I have over 1000 photographs to prove it .

bloggin about life....life is not bloggin

WOW ! I can't believe it has been a week since I blogged. I have thought about bloggin everyday. I have lots happening but just no time to sit down and actually write about it.
Life is so different now that Josh is in School , I am running the store and Kate is working
her 12-14 hour days also. I used to get so much done , now I am happy if I actually finish
one thing complete !
I have been working on the coach's book for Josh's football coach , I hope to get that done in a couple weeks . I am very proud of the layouts and they are all coming together so great.
Josh just continues to make me so proud. He is LOVING school now and his favorite subject is math ( takes after me there !) I love numbers. Also he is reading , I don't mean words here and there but books !!! It just amazes me that this little guy that we tried so hard to concieve is now reading ! This little guy I held in my arms , fed , changed diapers, watched take his first steps ..is READING !!! I am just in amazement. I know , I know ...just about everyone learns to read....but when you see it actually happening ...that is when you realize what a great thing it is to be able to read. It started with just singing the ABC's song...now reading .
Children are amazing ........and to see the smile on his face when he reads a word correctly ...to see the high 5's we give . I love seeing that on his face.

So that is what has been going on , with alot more stuff . Some fluff !

I will have to tell you about my first ever PTA meeting !!! Can you here Harper Valley PTA song playing in the background !!

so proud of josh ...

He has had a turn around week . This being a first grader has been tough on my little guy!
There is so much to learn about . So things easier then others. But tonight he told me that
he likes making new friends, learning and lunch and recess. That is so good to hear instead of
what I heard last week ....which was " I don't like school"
Today I heard " I love school" Also his thirst is back to get up and go to school . He is much happier when I see him get off the bus. I was so worried about him . He didn't smile when he got home. He didn't really look forward to going at all for the first month.
Now I can see that sparkle in his eye again.

It really made me think. For 6 years he has had me . He hasn't had to make those decisions about who would be his friends. I pretty much choose his friends thru the parents I liked.
He didn't have to eat fast , we often had some great conversations at lunch . Now he has about 20 mins and has to learn to eat then talk. Or I get alot of lunch brought back home. That has also changed this week , once I figured out that he needed to eat and not talk so much at lunch.
It is so hard to get full stories from a 6 year old. I think they feel they are going to get in trouble for things they tell you.
Then there is the whole thing about some kids are nicer then others. Josh didn't know what to do with all this emotion he was experiencing ...and all by himself. Sometimes it was hard to explain to me everything going on . But this week he has really found a new friend and they play alot together at recess and seem to really like one another. I am so happy for that ! He is even trying to teach his new friend how to listen to the teacher better ( seems his friend has a listening problem and is in trouble a bit )
Then the scarey conversations ....tonight it was about telling me a little girl showed him her underwear...he thought that was wrong. So I held my breathe and asked him what he did . He says " I told the teacher and she talked to her" WHEW!!! Altho I am still not thrilled that some little girl is showing my son her underwear , I was proud of him for knowing that it was wrong. It is so scarey to send them out there. We have always told Josh he can talk to us about anything , and I am glad he feels he can . Hope that line stays open , as I am thinking it is going to be very important in the years to come .
So as we have said all along ......we can only do so much as parents....now the test begins to see how we are doing . First report card at least a B+ !!
Hug them tight !!!

Saturday Rocked !

This girl can sing !! This is Krissy and she is my Friend's sister. We went to see her play this Saturday and this girl can belt out a tune or 100 !! I swear she can sing anything worth listening too. I usually hate it when people try to sing melissa E . They usually can't come close , but I have to hand it to Krissy , she nailed it every time !! I would travel again to see her play !!

This is Kim and J! Now you want to talk about a fun guy !!! He is a big crazy dude . It was good to see Kim smiling and having fun . This guy should go around and work with depressed people , I don't think there would be any more depressed people in the world ! J you rock !! So glad I got to meet you :)

This was the other part of our Weekend ...FOOTBALL!! We are now 5-0 and these guys played a tough team this week. They still came out way on top . I really love watching them step up their game when they need to.

Josh had a bit of a rough game , well one play where he forgot the play , paniced and threw the ball up in the air. He was very disapointed in himself , but we have two of the most wonderful coaches and they had him back in there playing the game again right away !

Grandma left today , she was here for 10 days and we had a great time . It was so great that she got to see Josh play two games. Aunt Neicey and Uncle Steve came up for the game saturday . We just had a fantastic day :)

I have been a bad blogger lately , it has been a bit crazy running the store and getting the event ready for January. By the time you are home , doing homework and then getting dinner , going to practice or just having some family time . Oh not to mention that darn housework or lawn care thing.

We are getting better , fall is settling somethings down . That is why I love the change of the seasons. It makes you slow down from the go go go of the summer.

I hope everyone is enjoying the fall . Get out and get some of that great fall folliage in your camera, it will look so good!

Have a great week !

Stillings scores two!!!

This is a picture of Josh making his first touchdown of the season !!

And here he is running for his 2nd touchdown of the day !! I felt my tears welling up for this one. I don't have a picture of him actually crossing the line on the second one , because I put down the camera to watch him.

Josh has been working out everyday. Ever since we took him to see the movie "Invinceable" he has been very inspired to be the very best he can be. He has a daily routine that he does consisting of sit ups, jumping jacks , push ups and running around the house. We live in the country so there is no place to actually run so he runs around the house. We also got him a small trampoline for in the house so he can jog in place.

We have told him that the harder you work at something , the better you will be. You get what you put into it, and all other inspirational saying we could think of. Well he has been listening and I was soooooooooooooo glad to see him score these two touchdowns. It showed him that working hard pays off. It was such a great lesson.

This is his last year of flag football and next year he puts on the pads and helmet. It will be a big change and I like he is getting stronger everyday , running faster and learning how to treat his body at a young age. I know in this day and age with lots of over weight , unhealthy children this is so important.

He is even inspiring me to excerise !!

Again my son just amazes me !!!

Just sitting back and beaming ....

A proud mom moment !

Josh's first scrapbook page.

Saturday ...football .....mohawks!

It must be Saturday !!! Football !! how is that face for a game face .

And you must admit , the mohawk just gets better every week .

Speaking of the week ....what a week it has been . I really miss having time to sit and blog . I must admit trying to get used to this schedule , is alot .

I love being home at 4 pm to get Josh off the bus , I love being able to cook dinner 4 nights a week. But it is a change to the stillings system. That 7 am wake up .., getting breakfast , then making lunch . Getting Josh on the bus and then getting myself going for the day .

I know it doesn't sound like it should be that hard. It is just a change to what we have been doing for 6 years. Josh had afternoon K and we did kinda what we wanted to .

We are getting the hang of it tho. I just have to adjust my sleeping habits and get to bed a bit earlier then 2 am !!

I want to give a shout out to all my great friends this week !! All of you that have called and offered your support and services ....you are the BEST !! You sometimes never realize how many great people you have surrounding you till you need them . Then as they say....the cream does rise to the top ! I thank you so much !!!

Well I am off to watch a movie . Hope I can stay awake :)

Today we remember .....

Today we remember ....

what we were doing 5 years ago ...

Today we remember....

how much our lifes have changed...

Today we remember ....

it will never be the same....

Today , I remembered 5 years ago at the same exact time I was watching the Today show in bed sipping some coffee. When it came on the screen , the crash of the first plane. I thought.. omg !
Then my friend Mary Ann called me to see if I saw it . We stayed on the phone with each other watching the 2nd plane , hearing about the pentagon and the other plane going down. There was alot of silence ...there was alot of thoughts. I know not once did we even think "terrorist" We just thought , awlful accident at first.

Josh was just a baby , just 18 months and was asleep in his bed. I protected him from this over the last 5 years. He will know soon enough how awlful it is. Why I freak out when he is out of my sight for one second.
We never leave one another without saying "love you "
So many of those things in life that seem to stumble us ...

Today seem so small....

Josh left for school today ....

He is now back home...

Today is a blessing ....live it as one .

It's saturday night.....

I just got home from hangin out with my gal pals.
We have a monthy club , book club.
We discuss Idea books and scrapbooking.
Tonight we didn't discuss much tho , just talked about
things and we all looked over the new book , Slice of life .
Great new idea book by Simple Scrapbooks.

Today was a great day , got to go and watch Josh play football!

We had alot of fun , I took over 200 photos.

I do love catching those shots of the boys playing .






I have been having a time with allergies. I am not sure
what I am allergic to , but boy twice a year it gets me good.
Just feels like my head is going to explode.

That's about it for tonight. Football season starts tommorrow ! YEEHAW!!

Blown Away !!

Not by the winds of Ernesto ....no by music!

I have always had a love of music.

Music has got me thru some of the roughest parts of my life.

Lyrics have touched my heart many times.

Barry Manilow got me thru my 16th year of life, I owe him!

( there I said it ! I was a Fanilow!!)

I got my IPOD this past year and I have to say ....

I LOVE LOVE LOVE it !!!

I have listened to music that had been collecting dust.

I have downloaded new music , I probably wouldn't even known about.

The other day I came across the song below in Itunes.

I have to say I sat as tears came down my eyes and listened to this song over and over.

It still gives me chills everytime I hear it .

It is very "political" but I hear it as very human, with anger , saddness and lots of emotion. It speaks to me so much , Pink , Amy and Emily put into words and put it with music ...what I feel in my heart.

I have put the words here . Not to offend anyone , but I wanted them written for me to look back on .

Dear Mr. President

Come take a walk with me

Let's pretend we're just two people and

You're not better than me

I'd like to ask you some questions if we can speak honestly

What do you feel when you see all the homeless on the street

Who do you pray for at night before you go to sleep

What do you feel when you look in the mirror

Are you proud

How do you sleep while the rest of us cry

How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye

How do you walk with your head held high

Can you even look me in the eye

And tell me why

Dear Mr. President

Were you a lonely boy

Are you a lonely boy Are you a lonely boy

How can you say

No child is left behind

We're not dumb and we're not blind

They're all sitting in your cells

While you pay the road to hell

What kind of father would take his own daughter's rights away

And what kind of father might hate his own daughter if she were gay

I can only imagine what the first lady has to say

You've come a long way from whiskey and cocaine

How do you sleep while the rest of us cry

How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye

How do you walk with your head held high

Can you even look me in the eye

Let me tell you bout hard work

Minimum wage with a baby on the way

Let me tell you bout hard work

Rebuilding your house after the bombs took them away

Let me tell you bout hard work

Building a bed out of a cardboard box

Let me tell you bout hard work

Hard work

Hard work

You don't know nothing bout hard work

Hard work

Hard work

Oh How do you sleep at night

How do you walk with your head held high

Dear Mr. President

You'd never take a walk with me

Would you

In Loving memory of my Meme

Yvette M Sigouin
1923-2006
Winterport, Maine-Yvette M. (Joyal) Sigouin, 83, widow of Leopold F.R. Sigouin, passed away Monday, August 28, 2006 at a Bangor healthcare facility. She was born in Laconia, NH, June 5, 1923, the daughter of Albert and Antoinette (Spenard) Joyal. Yvette enjoyed being a homebody, taking care of her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. She loved to play bingo and was an avid scratch-ticket player. Those that knew her will remember how competitive she was, especially at playing cards. Yvette was predeceased by one daughter, Jacqueline, one grandson, Marcel, and her loving husband, Leo. She is survived by two daughters, Lucille (Sigouin) Jolander and her husband David, of Wimberley, TX; Jeannette (Sigouin) Parent and her husband Stuart of Winterport, ME; four sons, Leo and his wife Susan, of Hampden, ME; Philippe and his wife Theresa, of Somersworth, NH; Henry and his wife Judy, of Rochester, NH; John and his wife Wendy, of Newton, NH; 27 grandchildren and 46 great-grandchildren, sisters; Rhea Samson and Jacqueline Thompson; brothers, Julien and Philippe “Nel” Joyal; sisters-in-law, Cecile Thibeault, of CT., Beatrice Sigouin of VT., and brother-in-law, Gerard Sigouin of FL., nieces and nephews. A Mass of Christian Burial will be celebrated 11 A.M., Saturday, September 2, 2006 at St. Gabriel Catholic Church, South Main Street, Winterport with the Rev. Robert Vaillancourt, pastor celebrant. Visiting hours will be from 9 A.M. until time of departure for church Saturday at the Hampden-Gilpatrick Funeral Home, 45 Western Avenue, Hampden, Maine. Interment will be in Oak Hill Cemetery, Winterport, Maine. Contributions in memory of Yvette may be made to: Winterport Volunteer Ambulance Service, P.O. Box 724, Winterport, Maine 04496. Messages of condolence or memories may be shared through www.hampdengilpatrick.com

As you can see...I haven't had to deal with death too much in my family. Meme, Pepe and that is it in my direct line. I also don't deal with death real well. Watching the movie last night " An Unfinished life" (highly recomend it ) It made me think alot , about how some of us don't deal with loss. It isn't something you learn , until it happens. So I wanted to give time to my Meme.



My Meme , that is what I always knew her as. That was the name for Grandma as I was growing up. From the time I was little till I was about 14 , my sister and I would spend at least 2 weeks with Meme and Pepe at thier trailer in NH. I remember some great adventures there , I remember riding my bike around the trailer park and I have scars on my knee to prove it. Oh that was a nasty fall.
I remember sitting for hours playing cards , mostly cribbage , spades and of course some penny poker . Also playing Carrom till all hours. I now have a carrom board that I am teaching Josh the game. It is one of my fondest memories with Meme, just playing games. I never realized till this week how much she had a part in my love for games. She never would just let me win either , her competitive spirit is also instilled in me.
I wasn't close to my Meme for the past 15 years of her life. I have called her since Josh was born and he did talk to her. I thought that was important. Not that he will remember it , but I will. I know Meme is at peace now , she is with Pepe and her daughter Jackie , that they lost at a very young age.
I was so happy my Mom , who couldn't attend the funeral was able to be there via cell phone. All her siblings live within driving distance to Maine , her being in TX it was a bit difficult. So my Mom called and the Priest took the phone to the pulpit and Mom heard the whole mass. That was so good.
So here is to Meme.....may you rest now , and if they have cards or a carrom board where you are.....practice up !

The start of any great day is a good breakfast. French toast !! There he goes , walking up to get ready to meet the bus !
Check out that hair ! Loving the look !
Special Day , Mom got to be here for this one . So glad to have her here today !
And the big yellow monster is here to swallow him up ! As you see he has none of the fears of his Mom !
Well this was one of the longest days of my life. I think it is only topped by the 10 hours of back labor I had waiting for Josh to enter the world.
The 8 hours today away from him is a close 2nd. I would look at the clock ever so often and just wonder what he was doing , wondering if he wanted to be at school.
I was hoping he was having the best day ever , and hoping that he was making friends.

Well 8 hours later the yellow monster spit him back out. He couldn't have had a bigger smile as the bus pulled up to his stop and he saw me.
He had a great day , made 2 friends , and even knew one of their names was Bryce. He had lunch and ate it all , didn't drink all his milk tho , and I now know there is something they poor left over milk into . He was a little excited about that detail. I said well it would be better if you actually drank your milk.
He likes his teacher , he said he listened alot today , not much else.
He went to bed tonight at 8:30 pm , which is at least an hour earlier then usual. Which is nice. He was tired.
He has his alarm set for another day and is ready for everything tommorrow.
Let's just hope I do better !!
Thanks for everyone's calls and emails today , meant alot to me .

12:35 am

It is officially the day my son goes to first grade.

He will get up in about 6.5 hours and start his day.

His day on his own , not with me.

He will be in a whole new enviroment , without me , on his own .

He will go and make decisions on what to eat , what to drink , who to sit with.

I will watch him ride away on the big yellow bus.

I won't know what he is doing .

I haven't even met his teacher.

Will he get hurt at recess? Will he meet new friends? Will he speak up if he needs something?

Will he remember his bus #?

Will he miss me ?

I will miss you Josh, I will miss you so much . I can't believe it is 6 years since I held you in my arms and thought about this day . It seemed so far away . I could think about it and smile , dream and hope you were ready.

I hope you have the confidence to jump right in with both feet. I hope you make some great new friends. I hope you enjoy learning and have fun with this new adventure. Tommorrow will seem like a long time. I know I can count on one hand the number of times we have been apart from one another for more then 8 hours.

I know you are going to be just fine. You are an amazing little guy. You can charm the best of them , and you are so smart.

Time for me to go to bed. I will try and be good and only show you my smiles tommorrow. But know as soon as you are out of sight ....the tears will flow....some happy , some sad. But also know I will be there when you get off the bus from your amazing day , waiting to hear every detail you will let me in on.

Practice , practice , practice, practice.....

That is where we have been 4 nights a week for the month of August. What a commitment sports are.
Not only for Josh , but for our family. But I have to say ...the joy it brings him and us is so worth every minute of it. We have met some wonderful kids, and families.
It is a true community . When you go from one sport to the next and see the same families over and over again , you get a real sense of this.
Josh's first scrimmage is on Saturday , I will miss this one . I am going to my first Scrapping weekend in over a year . Well one where I won't be working. The girls have threatened to tie me to my seat if I even think about getting up to help someone.
I am hoping Kate will take some great pictures of this weekend. I am going to leave my camera for her and just hope for the best :)
Have a great weekend !

everyone needs a bestest buddy!

I am loving this picture.
Josh and Alex started playing together in a Mom and me class at the YMCA .
They just almost instantly bonded and wanted to be together.
This was when they were 2 years old.
They went to pre school together for 2 years .
Then this past year they had to go to different schools , as we live about 15 minutes from each other.
I wasn't sure what this would do to their close bond.
Well during the school year they didn't get to see each other very much , I think it was only about 6 times . Some of them just a brief playtime at the store.
Josh had afternoon , and Alex had morning school.
Well these boys , even tho they have made other friends this year . Are so true to their bestest buddy.
We had Alex over for a sleepover and playdate. From the minute he walked in the door and dropped his bags , it was like he had been around all the time.
There truly is no other child that Josh plays this well with for a long period of time.
They just play , work out their tifs and you just hear laughter and other boy sounds.
At the end of the time together as we were driving Alex home the next day . Josh says " I wish Alex was my brother and could live with us all the time."
It makes me sad sometimes , knowing Josh will not have a brother or sister .
I have always tried to make sure he had alot of playdates .
Now with school , I don't always get to know the parents and childern as well , so it did get a bit more difficult last year.
He has a couple guys he likes to play with , but getting them together is sometimes hard.

So I have made a promise to Alex and Josh , that we will try and get them together once a month . Either he will come over here or Josh will go over there.
I believe they will be bestest buddies forever .
I know ...everyone needs a bestest buddy!

From 0 - 6 in just 6 short years !

Ok so here I was looking at my son , and I just couldn't help but really notice how big he is getting . yeah I know it happens, but at certain times it really hits you . I think it is all this thinking about him going into 1st grade. But whatever it is ...he is growing up so fast ! He is mr cool.
Don't get me wrong he is still my little cuddler , he still gives me those great kisses and those most wonderful hugs. He still thinks I am very cool and that I can do no wrong.
But when I see him standing there with the haircut he wants, not just how I did it without him knowing what he wanted.
With the clothes that he picks out ...not what I would pick out for him.
With a necklace on because he wanted one.
He is becoming his own little person.
He has his own opinions.
He has his own thoughts.
He sometimes even knows what he wants.
That is alot of change in just 6 years.
From the day you bring them home and you dress them , they have no opinion on anything for at least the first 2 years.
Then they start developing their personalities , then their attitudes .
Then all of a sudden you just have to step back as they start to become the person you see.
Now believe me I won't be far from the potter's wheel. I will be there to shape him as much as I can . But eventually you have to just let things take their own shape.
It is amazing to be such a part of someone's life. To know you brought this wonderful person into this world. That all those smiles are for you. That you have a lifetime of "I Love you Mom" in your future. (hey let me dream !) I know there will be some , " i don't love you so much" in there too, but that is a part of live and love.
So as I babble ...I realize just how fast time goes, and how big a deal each day is. I intend to cherish it all!!