The start of any great day is a good breakfast. French toast !! There he goes , walking up to get ready to meet the bus !
Check out that hair ! Loving the look !
Special Day , Mom got to be here for this one . So glad to have her here today !
And the big yellow monster is here to swallow him up ! As you see he has none of the fears of his Mom !
Well this was one of the longest days of my life. I think it is only topped by the 10 hours of back labor I had waiting for Josh to enter the world.
The 8 hours today away from him is a close 2nd. I would look at the clock ever so often and just wonder what he was doing , wondering if he wanted to be at school.
I was hoping he was having the best day ever , and hoping that he was making friends.

Well 8 hours later the yellow monster spit him back out. He couldn't have had a bigger smile as the bus pulled up to his stop and he saw me.
He had a great day , made 2 friends , and even knew one of their names was Bryce. He had lunch and ate it all , didn't drink all his milk tho , and I now know there is something they poor left over milk into . He was a little excited about that detail. I said well it would be better if you actually drank your milk.
He likes his teacher , he said he listened alot today , not much else.
He went to bed tonight at 8:30 pm , which is at least an hour earlier then usual. Which is nice. He was tired.
He has his alarm set for another day and is ready for everything tommorrow.
Let's just hope I do better !!
Thanks for everyone's calls and emails today , meant alot to me .

12:35 am

It is officially the day my son goes to first grade.

He will get up in about 6.5 hours and start his day.

His day on his own , not with me.

He will be in a whole new enviroment , without me , on his own .

He will go and make decisions on what to eat , what to drink , who to sit with.

I will watch him ride away on the big yellow bus.

I won't know what he is doing .

I haven't even met his teacher.

Will he get hurt at recess? Will he meet new friends? Will he speak up if he needs something?

Will he remember his bus #?

Will he miss me ?

I will miss you Josh, I will miss you so much . I can't believe it is 6 years since I held you in my arms and thought about this day . It seemed so far away . I could think about it and smile , dream and hope you were ready.

I hope you have the confidence to jump right in with both feet. I hope you make some great new friends. I hope you enjoy learning and have fun with this new adventure. Tommorrow will seem like a long time. I know I can count on one hand the number of times we have been apart from one another for more then 8 hours.

I know you are going to be just fine. You are an amazing little guy. You can charm the best of them , and you are so smart.

Time for me to go to bed. I will try and be good and only show you my smiles tommorrow. But know as soon as you are out of sight ....the tears will flow....some happy , some sad. But also know I will be there when you get off the bus from your amazing day , waiting to hear every detail you will let me in on.

Practice , practice , practice, practice.....

That is where we have been 4 nights a week for the month of August. What a commitment sports are.
Not only for Josh , but for our family. But I have to say ...the joy it brings him and us is so worth every minute of it. We have met some wonderful kids, and families.
It is a true community . When you go from one sport to the next and see the same families over and over again , you get a real sense of this.
Josh's first scrimmage is on Saturday , I will miss this one . I am going to my first Scrapping weekend in over a year . Well one where I won't be working. The girls have threatened to tie me to my seat if I even think about getting up to help someone.
I am hoping Kate will take some great pictures of this weekend. I am going to leave my camera for her and just hope for the best :)
Have a great weekend !

everyone needs a bestest buddy!

I am loving this picture.
Josh and Alex started playing together in a Mom and me class at the YMCA .
They just almost instantly bonded and wanted to be together.
This was when they were 2 years old.
They went to pre school together for 2 years .
Then this past year they had to go to different schools , as we live about 15 minutes from each other.
I wasn't sure what this would do to their close bond.
Well during the school year they didn't get to see each other very much , I think it was only about 6 times . Some of them just a brief playtime at the store.
Josh had afternoon , and Alex had morning school.
Well these boys , even tho they have made other friends this year . Are so true to their bestest buddy.
We had Alex over for a sleepover and playdate. From the minute he walked in the door and dropped his bags , it was like he had been around all the time.
There truly is no other child that Josh plays this well with for a long period of time.
They just play , work out their tifs and you just hear laughter and other boy sounds.
At the end of the time together as we were driving Alex home the next day . Josh says " I wish Alex was my brother and could live with us all the time."
It makes me sad sometimes , knowing Josh will not have a brother or sister .
I have always tried to make sure he had alot of playdates .
Now with school , I don't always get to know the parents and childern as well , so it did get a bit more difficult last year.
He has a couple guys he likes to play with , but getting them together is sometimes hard.

So I have made a promise to Alex and Josh , that we will try and get them together once a month . Either he will come over here or Josh will go over there.
I believe they will be bestest buddies forever .
I know ...everyone needs a bestest buddy!

From 0 - 6 in just 6 short years !

Ok so here I was looking at my son , and I just couldn't help but really notice how big he is getting . yeah I know it happens, but at certain times it really hits you . I think it is all this thinking about him going into 1st grade. But whatever it is ...he is growing up so fast ! He is mr cool.
Don't get me wrong he is still my little cuddler , he still gives me those great kisses and those most wonderful hugs. He still thinks I am very cool and that I can do no wrong.
But when I see him standing there with the haircut he wants, not just how I did it without him knowing what he wanted.
With the clothes that he picks out ...not what I would pick out for him.
With a necklace on because he wanted one.
He is becoming his own little person.
He has his own opinions.
He has his own thoughts.
He sometimes even knows what he wants.
That is alot of change in just 6 years.
From the day you bring them home and you dress them , they have no opinion on anything for at least the first 2 years.
Then they start developing their personalities , then their attitudes .
Then all of a sudden you just have to step back as they start to become the person you see.
Now believe me I won't be far from the potter's wheel. I will be there to shape him as much as I can . But eventually you have to just let things take their own shape.
It is amazing to be such a part of someone's life. To know you brought this wonderful person into this world. That all those smiles are for you. That you have a lifetime of "I Love you Mom" in your future. (hey let me dream !) I know there will be some , " i don't love you so much" in there too, but that is a part of live and love.
So as I babble ...I realize just how fast time goes, and how big a deal each day is. I intend to cherish it all!!

Style......finding your own

Ok if anyone is counting ...this is hair cut # 3 of the summer. First it was just a crew cut , then it was ...I want a tail . Then oh yes the famous mohawk. Then it was , I want my mohawk to show more. So this is what happens when Kate and Josh are alone together on a Friday night . Let me tell you of my shock when I got home after a night with the girls at mlpa . I was like WHOA! What happened here tonight . Actually woke Kate up and asked her.
Of course all I could think of was ...hmmm 10 days till that first day of school and Josh will have this mohawk as he walks in to make that first impression on his new teacher !
Then I just slapped myself.
Here I was thinking about others judging my son because of looks.
Bad , bad mom.
I have always hated stereotyping anyone for their looks.
So after I had this little silent struggle in my own head , I of course took pictures the next morning , started thinking about the layout I was going to do about the "Styles of Summer 2006" and how I was going to design the layout. I just love scrapbooking !
I actually love that he feels he doesn't have to keep his hair the same all the time. He has learned that he can change his mind and make it what he wants. I love that part of Josh . He goes with the flo of life, ever changing. He is his own peep!
So here is to being who you want to be ! Cheers to you my little guy .

time .....

WOW ! I was amazed when I was looking at the pics that are on my desktop file . I don't use my desktop much anymore , but my laptop is down till later this week waiting for an AC power cord. Not a great time , since I had just opened the S.A.V.E. weekend and have all my spreadsheets on the laptop.
But it was kewl to see this pic on the left taken 2 years ago. Then this one taken last weekend. I am excited as I have been taking Stacey's Library of Memories Class on line from Big Picture. I am going to do some pages of "then and now" about Josh. It amazes me how much he has changed , not only physically and mentally ...but emotionally.
Even in one year , the difference in him playing football is just amazing. Anyone that knows Josh knows he is a silly goofball. He smiles all the time and just bounces around in everything he does.
Well this is his 2nd year of football and he will put on pads and a helmet next year. I was watching him in practice and he was being his goofy self. Not really doing the exercises and not really paying attention to the coaches. Well on a ride home last week , I had a talk with him and explained that he needed to pay attention and learn from these coaches. They are truly great guys and have a lot to teach these little guys.
So we talked and I told Josh all about practicing and dedication to doing something the best you can do it. I wasn't sure just how much he heard or was going to take in .
Well this week I have watched my son who was goofing off at practice , do the exercises with determination . He has been listening to the coaches and has improved 100% in this week. As a result , he is playing more ( because he is making the plays) and he is beaming with pride when he gets a flag , or runs the ball for a TD ! He actually came over to the sideline tonight and said " I am doing good aren't I Mom?" I was so proud of him!! I was just beaming and I have told him how awesome he has been doing !
He also has been coming home from practice every night and practicing his Kicking and Punting . Tonight was Kick , Pass and Punt competition
. We will find out tomorrow if he was in the top 3 in his age group. He did ok , but I am so proud of the dedication he put into it .
As I have been talking to Josh about all this . I have also been reflecting on the past year in a part of my life. memory lane, pa a little dream come true. I have wanted to open a scrapbook store for sometime. Well a couple years, but thought like so many other dreams I have had , it was just that ...a dream. Then opportunity actually came my way last year and with Sarah , we made a dream come true and opened the doors on Aug 20th, 2006 . Sarah and I didn't discuss alot of specifics of our partnership. We went on a lot of faith and trust in ourselves and one another. Actually looking back , we are probably one of the most relaxed partnerships ever to enter into a retail store together. There wasn't alot of paperwork , we just did the legal paper saying we were partners and we started ordering product ! As our first year is fast approaching , I would say we somehow knew , or guessed right ! We have had a great year , not only in success of a business, but even more in success of our friendship. It has only grown stronger , we have gotten to know one another better. We have found our "nitches" . We flow well together with each other's strengths and weaknesses. It takes a lot of practice to be a good partner and also a friend in business. It is not always exactly how you would want it to be. But you do learn to let somethings roll of your back , and you learn what you need to discuss and come to an agreement in . I am not sure what this year will bring , but I can only hope and work at it being another successful year. As both are family's grow , and change we can only stay in constant communication with one another and be open and honest with one another . I do believe that has been one of the keys to our success.
I truly love what I do ! I don't like the toll it has taken on my family at times. But we have a strong foundation and I think it is actually getting much better already. It is a lot of work , but it is a wonderful , wonderful thing to be able to meet some of the most amazing people in the world on a daily basis. Even more , it is a blessing to actually be able to call these amazing people friend !
So I raise a glass this week to Sarah , thanks for being my partner in this wonderful adventure.
Kate, for being my rock ...and raising our wonderful son wtih me .
Josh.....for being my reason !
All you ladies , that have made mlpa the amazing place it is !

Sea Isle City

I am sitting here at my friend Maria's summer home in Sea Isle City . We are leaving in a couple hours to go home . The house is very quiet as everyone is still sleeping. The sun is up and it is going to be another wonderful day .
The view here is just wonderful , you look to the right and you see the bay . To the left is the ocean (not in view) , but you know it is there.

There is nothing like a beach town or (shore town ) as I am sure you call it if you are from NJ . It is just another culture as I would call it. Everything just slows down a bit , there is really no place to be at a certain time. No schedules . No meal times. Everything and everyone just moves at their own speed. If you want to pack your day with lots to do you can. If you want to do absolutely nothing , you can .
I just loved watching Josh yesterday , he got a little freedom from his mom's yesterday. I don't believe we talked to him for more then 15 minutes . He was playing with Jake , Mike and various other little dudes on the beach . They were digging , boogie boarding and just running in and out of the water. I think there was even some football throwing going on . It was nice to just sit and talk with Maria .
My friend Ali V . even came down . It was so great to see her and Dave !
It is funny that we live about 40 minutes from each other all year , and we got together 3 hours from home .
I just fell in love with this place in a matter of a couple hours.
This town is very unique and has many stories. Just a few I learned.
As we were walking around town , Kate and I noticed that 90% of the homes looked fairly new. We found out that after the Hurricane in 63' that alot of the homes were lost. The houses that they built to replace them only were built to last about 20 - 30 years. So in the 90's alot of the homes were either moved or bulldozed and everyone built new. Alot of 2 and 3 story side by sides as they call them here. Twins if you live in pa.
Also we have found out that this is a town of generations. As you walk around on the beach you see circles of chairs . As you look in these circles you see from Grandparents to grand children. We started to realize this is a norm in Sea Isle. As I was talking to Maria she confirmed this and said she actually has been coming here since she was 8 years old. You have to love a town like this ! It just gave me warm fuzzies !!
It has been a great summer and we are so lucky we got to enjoy the beach twice .
So we have just had a great weekend, it was so relaxing and just so wonderful. I can't thank Jack and Maria enough for having us !
Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend.

I just love creating ....

I Love telling a story that will be with generations to come. I love letting Josh know how much I love him and also leaving him stories to read , so when I am no longer with him here ...he will know thru them how much I loved him. This layout is the first in a long time that the thoughts just started to flo and I sat down did the journaling and the page came together in about 20 minutes.
The Journaling reads :

As I took a look outside to make sure you were alright , I saw you sitting. In an instant I wanted to shout out to you and ask, “ What are you thinking about Josh? or the thought even crossed my mind, “A penny for your thoughts”.
(Which then you would have been more concerned with the fact of why your thoughts would only be worth a penny.)
Instead I went in the house and got the camera, put on the zoom lens and devoured the moment up click by click of my camera. I couldn’t get enough .
I was quite content with my own thoughts. Making up my own ideas of what you could be thinking about.
As I stood there capturing the moment I also thought , how frigin cool is it that you …my 100 mph boy has paused for a minute ! Sitting having a moment to himself. Whatever it may be about .
Did I really want to invade on that time? Did I really want to know exactly what thoughts you were having ?
Were you day dreaming ?
Were you thinking about what you want to be ?
Were you thinking about your next battle and how you were going to defeat your enemies with the new tinker toy sword you had just built?
Whatever your thoughts were at this moment will just be your very own !
I will just sit back and always be here , capturing the moments of you .
Here whenever you need to ask questions .
Here whenever you need to feel safe.
I will always try and give you freedom to express yourself and take time for yourself.
Never stop dreaming , thinking or taking time for yourself.
Journaled 08/06

Love , like I never knew before .....

Josh, I hope you know and always will know how much I love you !
Today Kate took Josh to NYC with her . She had to go and check on her jobsite up there. Josh was so excited . He LOVES going to work with Mom. I mean what is not to love ..he gets to put on a hard hat and walk around with the boss ! Much better then being at the scrapbook store with me .
But the cutest thing was the call I got about an hour ago.
The phone rings and Josh is on the other end.
J: Hi Mom .
Me: Hi Josh , are you in NYC?
J: Yep , I am getting ready to do some coloring .
Me: Oh great !
J: I just wanted to call you so you wouldn't worry . We will be coming home in the afternoon , and I am ok .
Me: Well thanks buddy, I miss you .
J: Miss you too ....love you ! Wanna talk to Mom?
Me: love you too ....sure .

He is just amazing . Of course Kate prompted the call , but just the fact that they both know I worry about them when they are not with me .

I can't believe my little one got on the train , and is in NYC. I know he is safe with Kate but I can't help but worry a bit. It is a BIG City !!!

So I have been up since they left, couldn't go back to sleep . I have sipped my coffee ..mmmmmmmm! I have been working on some scrapping projects . Read my new Simple (GREAT ISSUE!) , and just relaxing a bit till I have to start my day .

Can't wait to see my little guy this afternoon . Hope he enjoys his big day in the City !!

Organizing is cleansing for the soul !!!

Ahhhhhhhhhh!
I feel it ...can you feel it ??

Breathe it in .....

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel!

It is called having something actually completed !

I tell you I walk around every day and I swear I am never going to finish anything ! Do you ever feel like that ? Not that I am not doing 10 things at once...no ....it is just completing something that feels so good!

Well this morning I finished a year of editing , and getting every digital picture of the year on disc , backed up to an external hard drive and uploading them to snapfish. HA ! I have 3 places that my most precious memories are preserved.
I have been a little freaked out while reading different things on CD's not lasting , and I have already had a couple computer crashes , so I didn't want to risk ever losing my pictures ! I LOVE digital ....but there goes a certain responsibility with it also .
I also had a great time looking back at the year , I got alot of great page ideas and I was going thru some of the shots. So now that they are organized and soon to be printed ( ones that aren't yet) , I will be a creating fool!!! Wahoooooooooo!
So here are some of the pics that I just can't wait to create with and tell their stories .









Stories to follow!

Culture is a great thing to offer our little ones

All I can say again is WOW ! I saw this show 7 years ago. Kate wanted to take me to a broadway show for my birthday...it was the 1st of January and she said you should call , because for a good show it could be a 6 month wait. So I called and told the lady on the other end that I would like 2 tickets to see Lion King in June. She kind of chuckled a little chuckle and asked " What Year?"
I truly thought she was joking around with me , and I said 1998 of course. Laughing along with her. She then informed me that there were no seats available till Feb of 1999. Over a year wait to see this show. Now I had only just been to my first broadway musical in 1995. I saw Cats!! LOVED IT !! I was so hooked. I couldn't believe it took me till I was 35 years old to see my first broadway musical.
So we booked the tickets for June of 1999, we of course still wanted to go and see a play so we also booked "Rent" for that June! (that is a whole other story) what a play !!
So the point to this....well 7 years later we now have Josh and what a perfect excuse to see this musical again !! He was going to go and see his first musical at age 6 . Well he loved it ...he laughed . He asked "is it over" everytime the curtain came down , or the stage darken. Yeah that got a bit comical and annoying . He would say " Is that it?" Spoken with disappointment in his voice.
It was so great to watch this musical again . I cryed , I laughed, I watched his eyes and how glued he was to every movement on the stage.
I was so happy that Kate and I could take him to see this great play. It was also nice he knew the story so he could follow along much easier. (Less explaining on our part).
As I looked around the theatre , I also was just amazed at how many kids were there. It is wonderful to see kids getting some culture.
Well I am a bit mushy this weekend, lots of reflecting , it has been an amazing year in alot of ways. It is good to reflect on the good .
So if you can ....take your children to a play . There are lots of great local playhouses that have children plays. We love to go to the Sellersville theatre .

my little clown !

Yes he is ! he will do anything for a laugh .
He says to me today ...Mom sometimes it is hard to get you to laugh.
I said ....oh I am sorry .
He says: No mom ....I like the challenge !
(That made me laugh)
He is one character ....and everyday I see more and more of myself in him. From the emotional highs and lows . To the always thinking about the other guy. He is a true reflection of me. Which in some ways is not the best ! I can only hope he takes the best of me and makes it his own , and of course better !
I truely love him and I never want to imagine my world without him.
Even when it comes to the times you wish didn't happen. ....
oh yes we had one of those today.
Why ...why do people lie?
Well today Josh lied to me ....oh yes it was an earth shattering lie...(insert sarcastic look ) He actually lied to me and told me he washed his hands in the bathroom.
Well, not sure if this is true for all 6 year olds ...but I have never seen him completely dry his hands , after washing them.
He comes out of the bathroom with the driest hands ever.
Knowing he is lying ....I give him another chance as I pose the question for the second time. " Did you wash your hands?"
Still he can look right at me and utter the word " Yes"
Then it is the bend down look him in the face and say " Josh did you wash your hands after you just went to the bathroom"
Then the truth ! "No"
As he turns to go back to the bathroom to wash his hands....I know that I have to make sure he realizes (again) how much I don't want him to lie...even about the small things.
So the punishment is handed down for lying.
Then the other issue I usually have with Josh is it takes him about 24 hours before he will come with that heartfelt apology.
This time ..to my shock ...it took 5 mins!!!! I felt this beam of light come over me...he had learned something ....of course at this point you have that split second of lifting the sentence handed down. Then reality comes back into view and you know you have to reward the good , but still have a lesson to teach.
So I did tell Josh how proud I was of him for the apology , but that he still had to pay the consequences for lying. He understood. He also said later in the day that he really wished he hadn't lied.
So not a stellar day for Josh and I ...he knew I was upset with him , and pretty much walked on egg shells around me today . I can only hope tomorrow is a bit better , and we did go to bed with a big hug and a kiss...and of course an "I love you " !

From Chicks to tails....

Now these girls know how to sing a tune !!!
I have loved thier music for years and have alot of thier songs on my Ipod. We went to see thier concert last night and it was just 3 hours of pure music heaven. I love that these ladies sing songs that speak out about things that are true and also near and dear to them. People were on thier feet for "Goodbye Earl" .


Here is Josh sporting his new hair do ! Well what is left of it . Now I am not sure where he got this ...but I think we were somewhere where an older boy was sporting one. But this is what Josh wanted now.

Yes that is the start of a baby tail !







You seen it hear folks !!! Do you remember thinking this much about your apperance at this age? Oh I am in so much trouble !

I love living in the country ...

this is from our bedroom door. This is a view we watch almost nightly . Each night after these two were born we have had Mom and the twins in the backyard around dinner time. We have watched lately as Mom has been letting the twins wander further and further away. Tonight they all came in the yard as usual and then we looked and Mom must have gone back into the woods , but the twins were just hanging out. They were both just laying around. Even when I came and opened the back door to snap some shots. They didn't even move.
I love that we get to see these wonderful creatures up close . Josh loves when he spots them , and sneaks to tell us. We sit and just watch them.
Of course as I watched this , I was also thinking about how we as Moms do the same thing. We let our children have more and more freedom. It is a scarey thing...knowing you have to let them go so they can fend for themself.
We went to the local carnival last night as we were walking around , I was very aware of kids walking around in their little "gangs" . I turned to Kate at one point and said, " Do we really have to let him go at some point and not be here ." It scared me even as I said it. But I know there is going to be that first time he comes to me and wants to go out with his friends .
I had thought of lurking behind bushes !
Will I be ready when he is ?
I am so not ready yet, but glad I don't have to be yet!
I hope the little deers are safe today, hope I get to see them again soon.
You know Mom was lurking in the woods , watching every move !

Victory ?

Could it be ? AGAIN? No matter how many times we win the battle they keep thinking there is another war. It was a great anniversary present yesterday to know that there are quite a few intelligent people in PA ! I want to give a personal thank you to anyone that stepped up and called or wrote to your congress person. They do hear us.

On a lighter note....













I just want to say how much I LOVE these two !
They are the best reason to get up everyday and face whatever the universe has to throw at me .
Guess that wasn't as light and fluffy as I was thinking.

Happy Anniversary Baby !

WOW ! WOW! WOW! 8 years ago today we committed our lives to one another . WOW ! Cape may , 50 people, 2 hearts committed to 1 love.
One of the greatest , happiest , most wonderful days of my life.
It is quite ironic that on our 8th anniversary those idiots are trying to tell us how much we shouldn't be together . It is amazing that they think they know what "God" wants for everyone. I know our God shines his love on us everyday . The God I know , loves us and blesses us everyday , our love could not be as strong or as wonderful without God in our lifes. So no matter what those people in Harrisburg think is right or how they vote today , they can't take away what we have. They may never recongnize what we have , but we already know what we have. So to my dearest , most wonderful , amazing life partner .....Happy Anniversary !!

Joshism for today :
J: Mom I think I speak French .
M: Why do you think that ?
J: Because sometimes no one understands what I am saying. Sometimes I don't even understand what I am saying ....so it must be french.

How can you not crack up over that? He actually just comes up with this stuff....I have to find a shirt for him..." I make stuff up " !

Went and saw the movie "Click" WOW ! Great story, worth seeing . Nothing earthshattering in acting , but the whole concept is just amazing. We are all rushing thru life , this will give you a little different insight.

When they stop .....I will rejoice !

Tuesday, the House of Representatives will vote on the Federal Marriage Amendment to ban marriage between same sex couples and write discrimination into the Constitution. Help us fight back -- tell your Representative to vote no today.
Just last month, the Senate held its own vote on the FMA. We asked fair-minded Americans to stand up for equality by contacting their Senators and urging them to vote no. The result? Hundreds of thousands of letters poured in to the Senate, and the extremist Senators pushing the FMA were unable to get a majority of their colleagues to support their agenda. You helped us keep discrimination out of the Constitution before -- now we need your help again to stop the FMA in the House.
Here’s what you can do:
1. Flood your Representative's inbox with email Write your Representative to let them know you strongly oppose the FMA. Tell your Representative that discrimination has no place in the Constitution. Click here to send your message now!
2. Overwhelm the House switchboard with calls. Call 202-224-3121 and ask to be connected to your Representative’s office. Tell your Representative you strongly oppose the FMA. A sample script is below:
I am calling to urge you to vote no on the Federal Marriage Amendment.
Throughout American history, the Constitution has been amended to expandand protect the rights and liberties of the American people - it should notbe used to single out some Americans for discrimination.
The Federal Marriage Amendment would single out GLBT Americans for separate and unequal treatment in the U.S. Constitution, the very document that is supposed to guarantee Americans' equality.
Do not write discrimination into the Constitution; vote NO on the FederalMarriage Amendment.

Kate , Josh and I thank everyone for thier support ! We can't fight this alone!

Defunk the funk

Ahhhh feeling a bit more myself today. Had a great weekend !
Saturday night we went and watched Bonnie Raitt at the Mann. What a great preformer she is . I just love her soulful music and that she loves sharing it .
Sunday was a total family day . We slept in ...which is rare. Went to breakfast , then did some outside chores. Josh played in the pool for a bit while I blew up some of the pool floats.
Lunch , some scrapping (kate napped) , then it was back in the pool. I got this awesome lounger for my birthday ...maybe some pics will come soon. Then it was a late supper and a great day ! I am working on a layout that is coming together nice. I hope to finish it today . Had some ink problems...I got messy!
It is so frigin hot here . today is suppose to be 101!!!
So we are hiding out in the rooms with the air units. The bedroom and the living room. I am sure we will be in the pool for a while today too. Sounds like a good day for the movies also .
Can't wait to see what August has to offer !! whew what a summer.

Family is just got to be the best thing ever created...

and if you had said that to me in my 20's I would have laughed at you and asked what planet you were from. So much has changed in the past 20 years. So much for the good ! I have two of the most wonderful people in my life that you could ever ask for . Kate accepts me for who I am . She might not like everything about me , but never tries to change me no matter how much she would probably like me to sometimes. I love her for that ! She is absolutely the one person I can depend on to be there if everyone else wasn't . ( no pressure or anything !)
Josh...well I just can't remember much of my life before him. I remember aching so bad because I wanted him in my life. Much before he was even here I had dreams of him daily. I wanted to be the best Mom ever. Now knowing that just isn't going to happen. You can only do the best you can do. I try to give Josh all the love I can on a daily basis, and some days I wish I could give him more...but must admit his demands on me somedays are more then I can give. Those times when he won't give me 5 minutes to myself. Those days when he has done everything possible to make my hair stand up and clench my fist . Those are the days , at the end when all are quiet that I sometimes just lay in bed and cry because I feel I have failed as "the best mom" . Then the next days come and he is telling me he loves me, telling me I am the best mom in the whole wide world. He says thank you for everything and please.
I have to be honest , I cherish all those days , because if I didn't have both kinds I am not sure I would grow as a Mom. I just love having him with me everyday so much . I miss him when he is gone even for a couple hours.
These are my thoughts today . Still in a bit of a funk and trying to figure things out. I think sometimes funks help me sort out all that I have consumed and gives me reason to sort some thoughts , that need sorting.
Take some pics of the everyday today !