Monday, February 20, 2006

Life Lesson

Yesterday was a very interesting day . Josh had a tourney for wrestling. It was a day I was hoping would turn out wonderful with Josh winning at least one match . The first of the season we went to a tourney and he lost both of his matches and it was such a hard thing to see him go through. But it was also a great lesson for him that he needed to practice to become better . Well now it was the end of the season and he has improved , but so has a lot of the other kids he will be wrestling. So all I am hoping for is for him to feel that he accomplished something and to win one match . He DID!!! He won his first match and I felt my eyes well up as I am shooting pictures of the ref holding up my son's arm in victory. Now that is all I asked for ....Then we go on to the second match , Josh is not focused he is just not wrestling with the same determination as the first match . I could tell ...Just like when he is kissing me telling me he loves me one minute and running around being so obnoxious the next . A different kid. Well then all of a sudden he becomes that wrestler he can be and come back from 0-6 to tie it 6-6 and goes into overtime. Which was quite a battle but his opponent gets the take down and wins.... I was just as proud of him , but he was so upset to lose. Well he still gets one more match . So we go into the 3rd match was a little fustrating because I had to go find a coach ...they are there to help the kids , but his regular coach has his son wrestling at the same time and can't help Josh. Well we get another coach ... this coach doesn't know Josh and his strengths and weaknesses . We go into the match and Josh breaks out to a 3-0 lead. I am so excited ...he may just win this one. THEN all my hopes are dashed for Josh as this coach decides to put Josh down on the mat and let the other wrestler be on top. THIS IS THE WORST thing you can do !!!! YOU NEVER put the wrestler down if you don't have to . I am yelling NEUTRAL ! NEUTRAL ( if you are not into wrestling this whole thing is not going to make sense) but you will understand I was so fustrated. Well in about 10 seconds the kid flips Josh over and pins him ! DONE FINISHED OVER! I was so upset for Josh , he came over in tears ....That coach comes to me and says .. " if I had it to do over again , I would put them neutral " At this point I had all I could do not to Yell back at this man . BUT I didn't ! I was very upset because he basically dashed all Josh's hopes of winning by making that mistake. Josh's regular coach came out to find Josh and was so sorry that it happened . He knew that was such a bad mistake and he was so sorry he hadn't been there for Josh. I assured him I didn't blame him . I was just so fustrated .

So Life Lesson learned. .... I am not always going to be able to make sure that Josh gets everything he needs to be a success . I am not going to be able to stop all people in his life from making bad decisions that will effect Josh. Each year I am going to lose more and more control of who is in his life making those decisions for him. As this is the last year before he starts going to school full time. These are all things I am NOT READY for !!!

I am scared ! I am crying about these things ! I hold on to him so tight when I hug him sometimes , I don't want to let go ! Do all Moms go thru this ??? Am I just too over protective??

Then , I know I will have to learn to deal with these things , because I am not going to stop him from being in sports, or school or whatever else he wants to do . Heck he starts baseball in a couple weeks , he looks so forward to these times , he loves sports, school and playing with his friends.

Wow , this parent thing has alot of roads to go on . I want to do it so well ! I want Josh to remember his childhood and love it ! I want him to do everything he wants to do and get everything out of it he can. BE A KID as long as he can !

So I guess as I get to the end of my thoughts this morning .... I have yet learned another life lesson. I am not in control of everything that is going to happen to my child , the most precious gift I have ever received. BUT , I am always going to be there for him to make it as GREAT for him as I can no matter what !!!

Just in case you are wondering ...Josh had a great time , takes the losses just as well as the wins. He is on to today , and looking forward to Me taking him to see Curious George with 2 of his buddies. That makes me happy is a new day !


  1. Nancy McPeak2:40 PM

    Your post was so heart wrenching. You said it all...these are important life's lessons for both of you. To me, the most important one is when you said that you will be there for him. My son recently had one of life's lessons hit him with full force...I wanted to yell at him and hug him at the same time. We all keep learning. Thank goodness we all have each other to talk to and count on for support.

  2. Rollie, all you can do is your best. Having raised a child with tourette syndrome and other problems, I learned much, but the most important thing that I ever learned was to never, ever give up. So many parents find the easy way out. Life isn't easy in any respect. There were many, many times, believe me, that I wanted to say just go ahead and do what you want, just leave me alone, but I didn't. I fought the battle. I knew what I was doing was the right thing. I knew that he could be persistant with issues, but I also knew that I could be just as persistent. He's 23 now. He held much against us when he first went on to college. He blamed us for so much, but....and I say but, after time, after his "free" years, he has come to realize that we were great parents. He's out of college, he's engaged, he's employed full time and he's a man, a real man, a man that I am so proud of. He bought a town house and lives just 15 minutes away. He works where my husband works and drives in every day with him. The battles are still there, and we've come to realize that he will always need us and that's okay, but despite these battles my husband and him are true friends. He calls home for advice on how to cook certain meals that he just misses so much, and he never hesitates to still be part of our family whenever we have something to celebrate. I think that this is the truest and best gift any parent can ever have. Our work paid off. Your work will certainly be cut out for you throughout your years of raising Josh. All I can say is just do your best and your love will always shine through. He will figure things out as needed and he will always know that you will be there for him. He's so lucky to have a mother always thinking about his best interest.