Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Takes Love to make a Family

March is a special month in our house. Kate adopted Josh legally on March 31st, 2004. It was a very important date that we will always celebrate. It is bitter sweet in alot of ways tho. Kate has been Josh's mom as much as I am in everyway since he was concieved. It is only the State of PA and yes the United States that didn't know that. When Josh was born , Kate was not "legally" his Parent because in order to be a parent in this State and Country you have to be a "hetrosexual " couple . It doesn't matter if you beat your children , neglect them or abuse them , as long as you are hetrosexual you are "legally " a parent.
It didn't matter that Kate was there every step of the way in the 2 1/2 years of inseminations...that she was there for his birth , that she was there for every 1 am , 2 am , 3 am feeding , no she was not allowed to be his parent "legally" because she was a woman , and not a male . So she had to wait till 2004 when it finally was made legal for same sex partners to both be legal parents to thier children. After a lengthly legal battle in the courts.
Kate and I have lived our lifes very open and honest about who we are . You will not find us on the front lines of every protest about gay rights. We feel very comfortable in our skin and who we are , we have never been real political people. I can't say we don't get a bit angry or at least just have to shake our heads sometimes at the stupidy of some of our goverment figure heads, we actually do that alot ! But we have lead a pretty great life and we are very happy people. No chips on our shoulders , and we are very happy with who we love .
But tommorrow AGAIN they will try and tell us we are not a "family" that we are 3rd rate citizens. That our love is less then "hetrosexual" people , because we are of the same sex.
Here is what is happening:
On March 15th, the Pennsylvania House of Representative's State Government Committee will be voting on HB 2381, the anti-LGBT, anti-family constitutional amendment that would prohibit recognition of same-sex marriage and all unmarried relationships in the Commonwealth.Pennsylvania state legislators are attempting to amend the Pennsylvania state constitution to deny gay, lesbian and unmarried families legal recognition.We need you to call your state Representative immediately and ask them to oppose HB 2381, known as the "Pennsylvania Marriage Protection Amendment."The amendment's text states, "Only a marriage between one man and one woman shall be valid or recognized as a marriage in this Commonwealth, and neither the Commonwealth nor any of its political subdivisions shall create or recognize a legal status identical or substantially equivalent to that of marriage for unmarried individuals."Ask your legislators to protect all of Pennsylvania's families and not harm some by writing discrimination into Pennsylvania's constitution. Pennsylvania law already stops gay and lesbian couples from marrying, and this amendment is not necessary.So-called marriage protection amendments affect all families in our state, not just same-sex families. While supporters in other states have said these amendments are only about gay marriage, this is not true. In Ohio, courts have ruled that unmarried people, including unmarried heterosexual couples, may not seek protection from abuse orders. In Michigan, groups are challenging domestic partner benefits for employees. Virginia's recently enhanced amendment is so broad that it may interfere with the rights of all Virginians to create wills, medical directives, powers of attorney, child custody and property arrangements, and even joint bank accounts!Thank you for your support. Please forward this information to friends, family, and other people in Pennsylvania who believe in civil rights and equality for all Pennsylvanians.
This makes me so sad.
What is my son going to grow up in .....are they going to try and tell my son that he doesn't have a "real" family? Do they want to tell my son that he shouldn't have been born ? Do they want to tell my son that he should not have his 2 Moms ? Do they want to tell my son that our love that we share is wrong?
How can anyone with a heart and a brain not see that Kate , Josh and I are just as much a family as any other family.....??
It makes me sad....but I will get up in the morning with my head held high , hug Kate, kiss Josh and go on with my day . They will never convince me that MY FAMILY is not a GREAT Family !!!! They can do whatever they want , we will ALWAYS be a FAMILY! Kiss and hug your family , teach them love and compassion and tolerance.....maybe we can bring up the next generation without all this hatred and stupidy. Stepping down off my little box now .
Good night !


  1. I never do this, but, Rollie you *are* on the front lines. By living your life, and living it well, you and Kate and Josh, and whoever else you choose to invite into your family, are a tangible reminder that love makes a family.
    By being who you are, not hiding yourself, you are proof positive that all sorts of families make wonderful contributions to this society.
    Like I tell my students, a family is a circle of people who love each other. And it would be really boring if they all looked the same.

  2. I don't think any little boy could be more loved than Josh. He was wanted more than the average child and has been cherished since conception. Compare him to many "normal family" children, and there is no comparison. Josh is genuinely sweet, loving, compassionate, intelligent and a wonderful example of his parents' love for him. (example of his kindness. I had my two grandchildren up at mlpa one day while Josh was there. He was sitting next to me and Luke. Josh asked me about Luke's cheeks and I told Josh that Lukie's was a chubby fat baby and that's what happens. He told me that it really isn't nice to call anyone fat! Now, how adorable is that>)
    Rollie and Kate, I am going to call my state legislator or at least email them to let them know that I think what they are trying to do really stinks. Being involved in the foster care system of Phila for well over 10 yrs, I have seen my share of unfit parents. Tell the legislature to go take those parental right away from these characters. "What's not broken, doesn't need to be fixed" Why waste their time on something that is working just perfectly!!

  3. Anyone who knows you knows that you Kate & Josh are as much of a family as anyone. I will never understand why it is so important for or government officials to prioritize hurting so many people with their silly rantings when there are truly important things to solve that truly do effect us all. You have a loving life partner with whom you are raising a wonderful little boy, while you may get better Christmas gifts, there is no other way to describe you thank FAMILY. Love-ya girlfriend! Trish D

  4. jocelyn8:47 AM

    Politics and Politicking make my blood boil! Yes, I believe that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but when it is not rooted in fact it becomes just a dumb argument! I have been in the unfortunate position of seeing children physically and mentally destroyed in a 'traditional' household. Why oh why do the 'powers that be' think this is the answer to a happy home life?

    Rollie and Kate, thanks for loving each other and Josh as much as you do - there is no better gift you can give him :)

  5. It is never too late to give up prejudices. Henry David Thoreau

  6. How lucky Josh is to be able to know how much he was wanted by both parents, and the lengths you went to to create him.

  7. I have been a parent for 17 years and often wish I had your knowledge and parenting style! I love your family from the bottom of my heart...I would do anything to help you! My heart aches for you over this matter! Remember we I love you and you are a true family to those who know it is not a question! My friends you are the mothers I wish I would have been in those early years just keep on loving each other and doing what you are doing! And by the way, if you don't know it you are doing a Wonderful job Josh is amazing! My love to you all.